Five years ago today...

I gave birth to our daughter, Lillian, too soon @ 24 weeks. She was born at 12:39 a.m. and was the New Year's baby for the state of Maine. We prayed so hard that she would make it but sadly she lost her battle 40 hours after being born. That was the worst week/time of my life. We said good bye to my MIL, son and daughter all within a week of each other. I was so angry. I couldn't understand how this could happen? We had worked so hard to get pregnant. We had done 6 IUI's with no success and then moved onto IVF. Finally we got our BFP on our 3rd attempt. I thought we were done with infertility treatments. It just didn't seem fair... I felt like all my dreams were taken away. I didn't know how I was going to survive this. Brian was my rock. He took care of me. He let me cry when I needed to. Laugh when I needed to. And let me be angry if I needed to. My friends all supported me. My family was there for me. And I met to women, Beth and Carrie, who helped me more then they will ever know! They also had lost babies (Beth lost twins and Carrie lost triplets) so they understood how I was feeling. I am beyond thankful for everyone who helped me through that dark time in my life.

Happy Birthday sweet girl. My first born daughter. You have no idea how much you are missed and loved <3

I have Lilly's bear resting on my baby bump..