Well here we are at what used to be the most dreaded of holidays for me... Every since we have been TTC I have dreaded this day... Wanting to be a mom so bad, seeing women in the world who didn't deserve to be a mom... It just used to make me angry. Then we got pregnant with Brian and Lillian and I thought this is going to change my feelings about the day. Then I lost them and I went back to dreading, well honestly hating Mother's day. My first Mother's day after losing them I was mad cause people didn't recognize me as a mother and mad cause some did. I was mad cause I didn't have my babies here with me. I was mad cause I couldn't happily celebrate the day. I always thought that if I was blessed with children it would change the way I felt about the day. So I woke up the morning ready to celebrate and it just didn't feel right. All day I felt like something, someone was missing... And it really hit me... I am the mother of 4 children. But only 2 are here with me. 4 Children in my heart but only 2 in my arms... I have 3 daughters and a son but only 2 daughters here with me... This day above all others bothers me the most. Don't get me wrong... When December 29th and January 1&2 rolls around I am pretty bummed out but this day, Mother's day, makes me the saddest...
To all the moms out there, Happy Mother's day. I hope your day was filled with joy and laughter. Smiles and happiness. I hope your children filled your hearts with love....
To all loss mom out there, Happy Mother's day to you too... Cause you are moms. As painful as it is to hear (I have been there) you ARE a mother. May the thoughts of your angels bring love to your heart. And with each tear that you cry today now that there are fellow loss moms out there that are thinking of you and your precious angels... (((HUGS))) to you...
To all loss moms who have gone on to have living children, I am sure this is a bitter sweet day for you too... While we are so happy and blessed with our children, our hearts ache for the ones that are not here with us...
And to everyone who is pregnant... Happy Mother's day... I hope your day was filled with excitement thinking about the little angel growing in your tummy:)
I am sorry if this post wasn't cheery like they usually are... Just needed to get some stuff off my chest... It's been an interesting Mother's day for me.
To my sweet angels Brian and Lillian,
There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of you... You are forever in my heart. I know you are looking over your sisters... And I know your Nana is taking very good care of you... I love and miss you sooo very much... Mom
2 comments:
I would give away everything I have if I could be granted one wish. My wish would be for Lillian and Brian to join their little sisters here with you. I truly am sorry that Mother's Day is such a conflicting day for you. Have a better day today and keep the pictures coming.
Theresa
I am just checking out your blog and had to post. I have tears in my eyes reading this because this is 100% how I felt on Mother's Day.
I wish we had our angels with us physically, but I know that won't ever happen. I know they are always with us though. They are looking over us and our earthly angels each and every day.
Happy belated Mother's Day to you. Sending you **BIG HUGS** hugs across the miles too.
~Dawn
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