We are 8 months old today!!

Can you believe it? My little babies are 8 months old! It doesn't seem possilbe... They are both sitting up on their own. Less wobbly now... Charlotte actully try pulling herself up today! And they both get their legs under them like they are going to crawl but once they get their hands up they drop their legs... I know they will get the hang of it sooner or later... Then I am in big trouble! Here are some pictures I took today! Enjoy:)

"Match maker, match maker make me a match"...

So today I went shopping with my friend Heather and her mom Donna... I had such a good time with them. We headed to Freeport and went to Carter's and Osh Kosh. I bought the girls tons of new clothes. Mostly for Florida though... But I did find these wicked cute head band handkerchief thingys... Don't they look sooo cute?:)

Spring colds and our beautiful tress!

So it's been a bit of a rough weekend here at the Souza house... Both girls and myself have been sick... And Maggie is now getting a second tooth! I just noticed it this morning! It's been a weekend of runny noses, coughs and sneezes... Not fun! But Brian managed to get out and mow the lawn and he encouraged me to go and walk around the yard and look at some of our trees that are in bloom. Here are a few pictures...

My lilac tree

Bleeding heart

I love this tree! Isn't it beautiful?


And here's a picture of the girls watching the Wiggles..

We are in teething hell!!

As many of you know the girls have been STTN (sleeping through the night) now since about Thanksgiving... Well last night they were up from 10 till about 2:30ish... Not both at the same time... No no no... They took turns tormenting me. It started with Charlotte. So I held her and rocked her back to sleep... Then it was Maggie's turn. But she wouldn't go back in her crib... So I put her in bed with me. I know that wasn't going to work for me. Well by putting in her crib and having her cry she woke her sister up! So basically I would get one to sleep and then the other would wake up... Finally about 2:30 they both were asleep again. And wouldn't you know it, they both woke up at 5:30! I thought maybe they would sleep in a little... WRONG!!! So I thought well they will take one hell of a morning nap... WRONG again! I just fed them and they are both asleep. Maggie's tooth is taking it's time coming up. And I can feel a little bump on Charlotte's gum... I just gave them both a dose of ibuprofen hoping that would help... And poor Maggie's nose is running like a river!! So that's what's happening at the Souza house... If they don't sleep tonight you might be visiting me at the psych ward tomorrow... So if there are any moms out there reading this and you have some good advice for me please leave me a comment... I am thinking about just putting some Jack Daniels in their bottles tonight;)

Memories...

So I am feeling a little nostalgic today... Or it could just be the cold medicine... Stupid spring cold... Anyways, I was looking through pictures and I came upon pictures of me and Holly right before she had Bert. I think I was about 20 weeks pregnant. And I was looking at my pix from my shower... I was about 29 weeks there... I wish now I would of taken more pictures of me pregnant. Cause it will never happen again. Not unless they come up with an artificial uterus;) So here are some pix of me pregnant... Oh and Holly too:)



And here are the babies:)

Me and Michelle at my shower:)

Charlotte loves her books...

Or I should say Charlotte loves to eat her books... This is the second one she has chewed on so bad that the paper is coming off!! And every time I would try and read it to her she would grab it and put it in her mouth!






Maggie has a tooth!! Well it's there but not all the way through yet. I try and look at what's going on and she sticks her tongue out so I can't see... She's a little devil!! I have been working on getting them to sit up on their own. Charlotte does pretty good but Maggie needs some work! She does great if she's sitting on the couch...


It's hard to believe that in 10 days my girls will be 8 months old! Where has the time gone? I feel like I just found out we were pregnant!! And you know the summer will go by fast and then it will be time for their birthday.. Of coarse that also means we will be in Disney:)

Visiting sisters:)

Today we went and visited Grammy. Cousins Lori and Marissa were there helping Grammy clean out her computer room and storage shed... God bless Lori for doing that... She's a brave soul!! Here are some pictures I took of the girls with Marissa...

My little wiggly worms...

We bought this rug that I put the girls on to play with their toys... I am also hoping this will get them ready to crawl... I guess I should be careful for what I wish for right?? Anyways, I put them down with some toys like this...


I left the room for a minute and this is what I came back to...

Mother's Day

Well here we are at what used to be the most dreaded of holidays for me... Every since we have been TTC I have dreaded this day... Wanting to be a mom so bad, seeing women in the world who didn't deserve to be a mom... It just used to make me angry. Then we got pregnant with Brian and Lillian and I thought this is going to change my feelings about the day. Then I lost them and I went back to dreading, well honestly hating Mother's day. My first Mother's day after losing them I was mad cause people didn't recognize me as a mother and mad cause some did. I was mad cause I didn't have my babies here with me. I was mad cause I couldn't happily celebrate the day. I always thought that if I was blessed with children it would change the way I felt about the day. So I woke up the morning ready to celebrate and it just didn't feel right. All day I felt like something, someone was missing... And it really hit me... I am the mother of 4 children. But only 2 are here with me. 4 Children in my heart but only 2 in my arms... I have 3 daughters and a son but only 2 daughters here with me... This day above all others bothers me the most. Don't get me wrong... When December 29th and January 1&2 rolls around I am pretty bummed out but this day, Mother's day, makes me the saddest...

To all the moms out there, Happy Mother's day. I hope your day was filled with joy and laughter. Smiles and happiness. I hope your children filled your hearts with love....
To all loss mom out there, Happy Mother's day to you too... Cause you are moms. As painful as it is to hear (I have been there) you ARE a mother. May the thoughts of your angels bring love to your heart. And with each tear that you cry today now that there are fellow loss moms out there that are thinking of you and your precious angels... (((HUGS))) to you...
To all loss moms who have gone on to have living children, I am sure this is a bitter sweet day for you too... While we are so happy and blessed with our children, our hearts ache for the ones that are not here with us...
And to everyone who is pregnant... Happy Mother's day... I hope your day was filled with excitement thinking about the little angel growing in your tummy:)

I am sorry if this post wasn't cheery like they usually are... Just needed to get some stuff off my chest... It's been an interesting Mother's day for me.

To my sweet angels Brian and Lillian,
There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of you... You are forever in my heart. I know you are looking over your sisters... And I know your Nana is taking very good care of you... I love and miss you sooo very much... Mom

Daddy's wallet

So I was getting ready to feed the girls tonight and Brian's wallet was on the table. Charlotte grabbed at it first so I moved it over to the other side. Then Maggie started at it!! They are no fools... It's already starting... So here are some pictures of the events...

New high chairs:)

Well they aren't really high chairs.... They just strap onto a regular kitchen chair. But we tried them out this morning for the first time and so far so good!! It's a lot easier for me. Before I was feeding them in their car seats and it was killing my back... Plus doing it this way they don't end up with food all over their clothes... Carrots are impossible to get out of clothes... So here are some pictures from their first couple of feedings....

Hope this works:)

Beth...

May 1 was Beth's due date with her twin girls, Morgan and Abby. She lost her girls right around the same time I lost Brian and Lillian. And by some strange twist of fate we were brought together... She was a great support and friend to me during those dark times and a great friend while I was pregnant. So Beth if you read this, I am thinking of you and your precious Angels today... I know they are looking over you, Michael and Sarah... Thank you for being such a great friend:) Sending many (((HUGS)))