Souza Sisters

Did I tell you about the time the girls cut their hair??

2012-01-31T14:11:00.005-05:00

You read that right. The girls cut their hair.

The other day Brian and I were downstairs catching up on some of our shows and the girls were up in their room playing. Or so we thought... We looked at each other and said, "it's way too quiet up there". So I went to investigate. I just about fell over when I saw Charlotte sitting on top of the changing table (which I use for storage in our bathroom since I don't have a linen closet) scissors in hand, cutting her hair. I just about died... Charlotte's hair was all over the floor and Maggie's was in the trash can.

Here's all the hair in the trash can:

I should note that the scissors were well hidden. I have a small plastic tote thingy with all their hair bows/headbands/barrettes in it. The scissors were on the bottom of that. On top of the changing table. Out of reach. Unless Charlotte climbs on it... I immediately moved the tote and the scissors to another spot.

We were lucky. The damage was not that bad. I took them to Walmart to get a hair cut. The hairdresser could blend the hair they cut on the sides and we had to take a little bit of length off the back. Maggie was so worried we would have to cut her princess hair.

Lesson learned? If it's too quiet they are probably doing something they shouldn't be doing. And always keep scissors out of reach!!

Finished product:

My name is Debbie and I am a bad blogger...

2012-01-30T11:25:00.013-05:00

I don't know why I have stopped blogging. I guess part of me feels like I don't have a lot to say. Or it could be that I am addicted to Facebook. I still read blogs but I don't keep up with my own... Maybe I can change that. Baby steps right?

In my last post I said I would talk about our Disney trip. So here it goes:

We went to Disney last October/November. We were there for 12 magical days. My mom decided to join us this year. The girls loved having Gree with us. We drove of coarse (although this will be the last year we can do that). On the way there we stopped in Maryland for the night and I was able to meet up with Dawn (a woman I met online about 6 years ago) and her little girl Avery.

The second night of the journey we stopped in South Carolina. And on the third day we finally made it to Disney. We stayed at the Boardwalk for 7 nights of our trip. We love that resort. It is so beautiful and relaxing there. We booked a 1 bedroom suite (which is huge) standard view. Which meant looking out of our balcony we looked at the front of the resort. The view isn't bad. To be honest I really don't care what we look at. I love that resort so much. And the girls love that there is a big tub in the room. We love getting a suite because we have a full kitchen and a washer/dryer.

If you look closely you can see the tops of the buildings in Japan at EPCOT.

We did a split stay this vacation and also stayed at the Animal Kingdom Lodge-Kindani Village. That resort is amazing! And very beautiful. We stayed in a 1 bedroom suite there also. It seemed bigger than the one at the Boardwalk. The decor at AKL is much darker then the decor at the Boardwalk. Dark woods and such. But very beautiful. They have a savannah right there at the resort. There are different viewing areas for you to look/watch animals. The girls loved that. You can get rooms with a savannah view but they were all sold out when we were there... There are so many places to see the animals though. The pool area there is awesome! So much fun for the kids. The only thing I didn't like about the resort is it's kind far away from things. Except the Animal Kingdom theme park. We are so used to being able to walk to EPCOT and Hollywood Studios (from the Boardwalk). I am glad we tried a new resort but I think Boardwalk is home for us. Here are some pictures from the AKL:

Is this thing on?

2011-11-21T09:56:00.005-05:00

I can't believe I haven't posted since July. I guess I was just feeling like I didn't have much to say. So instead of feeling like I need to post everyday I am going to post when I have things to say. Make sense?

We had an awesome summer. The girls LOVE the swimming pool! And so do I. It was great being able to just walk out of the house and just in the pool when it was hot out. It was a sad day when we had to close it for the winter. Next summer we are going to build a deck. Can't wait for that!

The girls started school in September. The first couple of days were rough for Maggie. They have never really been away from me. There were many tears shed but after 3 days she started to really like it. Now she loves school. Charlotte has loved it since day 1. She cries when we get home. She loves playing with all her friends. She is such a social butterfly. I can already see changes in them since they started school. It's really amazing to watch your kids grow.

They also celebrated their 4th birthday in September. 4 years old... It seems like yesterday we brought them home from the hospital. We had a Princess/Rapunzel birthday party with family and friends. The girls loved having all their cousins here playing. It was really cute.

I think I am going to stop now. Next post will be all about our trip to Disney :)

I don't feel good today...

2011-07-17T20:41:00.002-04:00

This is what Charlotte told me today. I think she has a summer cold. The poor thing just got over an ear infection a couple weeks ago. And Maggie had swimmers ear. She seems to be better now. Of coarse we are having the hottest weather of the summer. So poor Charlotte. She's sick and sweaty. And she doesn't really want to swim. Thank goodness we have an air conditioner in their bedroom.

We are pretty excited here in the Souza household. We are going camping next month!! My dad asked us if we would be interested in doing a big family trip to Papoose Pond and of coarse we said yes! So it will be my niece Ellie, my dad, my stepmother, her kids and their families!! There will be 19 of us! It should be fun! We used to camp at this campground all the time when I was a kid. I loved it there! I have so many wonderful memories of that place... Now I will make some more with my family!

And you know what else?? 98 days or 14 weeks till DISNEY!!

Summertime

2011-07-14T08:00:00.003-04:00

I don't know if I mentioned that we bought a swimming pool or not. Back in February one of the local pool companies was having a great sale on pools. We bit the bullet and bought one. It's been a bit of a headache but we really do love it! We didn't realize how much it costs to put up a pool... Oh well! The girls love it. Especially Maggie. I am surprised she hasn't grown fins yet!

MIA...

2011-07-13T20:25:00.007-04:00

Sorry I haven't been around much lately... There have been many times when I have logged into Blogger to post but just didn't feel like writing. I have been in a bit of a funk. Those around me probably didn't notice it but I knew I wasn't feeling myself. I went to the doctors and asked to be put on meds. Depression is such a bitch. And she started rearing her ugly head a few months ago...

Every since Brian and I started trying to have a baby I have felt a little down. Infertility is awful. Every time someone announced they were pregnant I would just shut down. I would cry for days. Always wondering when it would be our turn. I watched my two BFF's have 2 children, two of my nieces have babies, my aunt had a baby plus the countless co-workers have babies. It became painful. I pulled away from people. I needed to protect myself. I love my friends. Michelle and Nichole are like family to me. And of coarse I love my nieces. But it was so hard.

We started IF (infertility) treatments in December of 2002. I remember being so hopeful. We did 6 rounds of IUI's. Let down after let down. Every time we got a negative pregnancy test, I felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach. I felt like I was letting Brian down. It was my body that wasn't getting pregnant. After the 6th IUI, my OB suggested we see a reproductive endocrinologist.

We met with Dr Hartog in the spring of 2003. As soon as I met her I loved her. She was straight forward but she had a warmth about her. And I LOVED my nurse, Laura Jean. She was great. It was like talking to my mom. I made a friend in Laura Jean. We did our first IVF cycle in October of 2003. We were beyond excited! Everything went pretty smoothly. But it didn't work. We did our next cycle in March of 2004. That was a disaster. We didn't even think we were going to have embryos to transfer. I was defeated. Again, I couldn't help but wonder why? Why was this happening to us? I needed a break. A break from the needles. A break from the ultrasounds. A break from IVF...

That fall was great. We took an amazing family trip to Disney World. While we were there we watched the Red Sox beat the Yankees after being down 3 games. Then we watched as they won the World Series. I felt totally recharged. I know that probably sounds weird but in a way watching them win gave me hope. I needed just a little more time but I knew we would be cycling again.

The spring of 2005 we got all our ducks in a row to start our next cycle. It was a bumpy road but it all worked out. In August we got what we had been working so hard to get... BFP!

I'm not going to go to deep into what happened. You all know that we lost the babies. It was the darkest time of my life. My heart was truly broken. I couldn't believe we were given such an amazing gift to have it taken away from us. I was angry. I was sad. There were so many emotions going through my head. And now when I found out someone was expecting I would just break down. and I would be out of it for a couple days.

My niece got pregnant right before the 1 year anniversary of Brian and Lillian's death. She called Brian and told him first. So he prepared me. But I couldn't talk to her. I was thrilled for her. Beyond happy. but it was so hard for me. It wasn't jealousy. I just couldn't understand how it was so easy for some people but so hard for us. I couldn't hear her say the words. I was afraid if I did it would kill me. We ended up talking on Christmas Eve. I remember her saying she wanted her aunt back. We are very close. and that killed me too. I asked her to just give me some time. We were gearing up to cycle again. And we all know how that turned out. My niece had her son in June. The girls were born in September.

Infertility is a horrible disease. It's almost crippling. Until you have been through it you can't understand. To want something so bad and not be able to have it. To want a child of your own and it just not happening the way "it's suppose" to happen. And even though I have kids it still stings a little when I hear that people are pregnant.

Preschool

2011-04-06T15:22:00.012-04:00

We found out today that the girls names were picked in the public school pre-k program. We are beyond excited! I have been looking into preschools in our area and we would've had to pay between $90-$200 a week. Depends on if the school offered a multiple child discount or not. So needless to say we are pretty pleased we got into the public system.

I still can't believe my babies are old enough for school. Where did my little babies go? I know they are going to love school. They will make friends, learn new things, do arts and crafts. It's going to be great. And it's going to be for me. The thought of having some free time is awesome! I can clean without having them following behind me undoing whatever it is that I am doing. I can go grocery shopping alone which will be easier. And my house just might be clean. For more than one day!!

I keep talking to the girls about going to school. Charlotte seems very excited. Maggie... not so much. She keeps telling me she needs to stay home with me. Maggie is a mama's girl. She hardly leaves my side. I have a feeling I will be that parent who has to stay in the back of the classroom for the first few days... But she needs to get away from me.

Times are a changing. The girls are getting older. I feel like we just brought them home. Now they are going to preschool. Before I know it they will be graduating from high school.

April 2008

April 2009

April 2010

April 2011

We are going to Disney World!!

2011-03-25T11:15:00.002-04:00

I know this isn't really that big of a surprise huh?? Yesterday I booked the first half of our trip and next Wednesday I can book the other half. We will be staying at the Boardwalk for 7 nights and the Animal Kingdom Lodge-Kindani Village for 5 nights. We are super excited!! We love the Boardwalk. We love being able to walk to EPCOT and Hollywood Studios. But this year we decided to try something new. We have wanted to stay at the AKL for some time now. This year we decided to bite the bullet and try it. We are going to do a Savannah view so the girls will be able to see animals from our room. I can't wait to see their faces!! We will be there for Halloween so we will attend Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party. I know they will LOVE it! And we will be able to enjoy the Food and Wine Festival. It's hard to believe we are taking the girls on their 4th vacation to Disney!! Oh coarse they really don't understand that we have to wait 7 months until we go... They think we are going now!!

Toys...

2011-03-16T14:15:00.008-04:00

My kids have a new toy (if you can even call them toys) that they love. Squinkies. Anyone else out there have kids that love them too? I think the person who invited these things should have to come to my house every night and pick them up. They are everywhere. And of coarse they are the tiniest things... But my kids love them. They reenact scenes from their favorite movies/shows with them. Which is very cute...

But they do have toys that I love. Especially their Toy Story toys. They have Buzz, Woody, Jesse and Bullseye plush toys. Then they have figurines of Buzz, Woody, Jesse, Bullseye, Ham, Rex and one Alien. I also bought them Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head. I love when they play with these toys. I think I like those movies more then they do...

Here's the gang minus Bullseye. Maggie sleeps with him so he's upstairs most of the time...

Then there are the Wonder Pets. My nieces little girl Gracie has loved them for months so I thought I would see what this show was all about. The girls fell in love. Oh they love the Wonder Pets. So we bought them Wonder Pets stuffed animals. The girls love them. Gracie's birthday party theme last year was Wonder Pets. My very talented niece, Holly, made all the kids the capes that Linny, Tuck and Ming Ming wear. So now we can play Wonder Pets. It's really cute!

Love....

2011-03-10T13:38:00.006-05:00

You know what I love?

This...

And this...

And these...

And these funny faces...

The many outfits of Charlotte Souza

2011-03-03T10:13:00.006-05:00

Charlotte loves to dress up. She's always asking to be Belle, Cinderella, Jesse or her newest favorite, a mermaid (which consist of just her leotard). She cracks me up! Here a some pictures of her get ups. There are some duplicates from other posts...

Pictures

2011-03-02T11:38:00.007-05:00

I have started a few posted but just haven't had it in me to finish them.... So I figured I would post some pictures. I bought myself a new camera a few weeks ago. It's a Canon Rebel xs and so far I love it! Still trying to figure it out but that's the fun part. And I have adorable subjects to test it out on!! I will post again soon about what we have been up to. Which isn't much...

Two questions I dread...

2011-02-09T08:31:00.001-05:00

There are 2 questions people ask me all the time that I dread. The first one is, "do you have any other children"? The other one is, "do you plan on having more children"?

When people ask if I have anymore kids I want to crawl in a hole and cry. I feel if I say "no" then I am denying that Brian and Lillian were born. They were born and lived for a short period of time. They were here with us and we prayed that they were strong enough to live. But they weren't. They were born too soon. But on the other hand if I tell them the truth I can see the horror on their faces. It's really hard for me. And I am sure it's hard for a stranger to hear my story.

For years we struggled with infertility. I went off birth control when we got married. I figured if I got pregnant it wouldn't be that big of a deal. We were married and we knew we wanted a family. Well after 4 years of nothing happening we decided to look into what was going on. You all know the rest of the story. IF (infertility) robbed us of getting pregnant on our own. By the time we started treatments we were going into our thirties. I was almost 33 and Brian was 35 when the girls were born. Not old by any means but old enough that if we were going to try for another one we weren't going to be able to wait too long. We had talked about the girls being our only children. We didn't think we could go through IVF again, chance getting pregnant with twins again, having another high risk pregnancy and take care of toddler twins. After delivering the girls, the doctor could not got my uterus to contract. They were working really hard to get it to do so. The doctor came over to us and asked if we planned on having anymore kids. It's one thing if you decide this was it. It's another thing when the choice is taken away from you. She explained what was going on. Obviously saving my life was more important then my uterus. I didn't have time to process this because I went right into surgery.

Even after after I had the girls it really hadn't sunk in that I wouldn't be able to have anymore kids. When we lost Brian and Lillian I met an awesome woman. Her name was Peg and she was the grief counselor at the hospital. By some strange twist of fate she had found out that I was in the hospital having the girls. She stopped by to say HI. We talked about all the emotions that were going on in my heart. How happy I was to have the girls and how sad I was that Brian and Lillian weren't here with us... She also told me I needed to grieve the loss of ability to have more children. To be honest there was so much going on I didn't have time to even think about that. But it clicked with me a few weeks later. I wasn't going to be pregnant again. I would never get a BFP again. I would never hear a heartbeat from within again. I would never feel a baby growing in my belly again. I am VERY GRATEFUL for my girls. I know how lucky I am to have them. But I was sad that once again the choice was taken away from me.

Most of the time when people ask me if we will have more kids I just say, "no, we are happy with what we have". Deep down I would of loved to have one more. But I guess it just wasn't in the cards.

I'm still here!

2011-02-08T14:15:00.004-05:00

The past couple of weeks have been rough here at the Souza house. Just as Maggie was getting over bronchitis Charlotte caught a nasty cold. Of coarse Maggie got it too. Yesterday I took Maggie back to the doctors. She wasn't doing good. But he said it's just a viral thing. He recommended a couple meds to give her. So that's what we are doing. Hopefully by the end of the week they will be back to their normal selves. Last night Maggie slept all night in her bed! It was great for her and for me! It's amazing what a good nights sleep can do for you. She is like a different child today!

Charlotte and Maggie definitely have cabin fever. Between being sick and the amount of snow in the yard we have been staying inside. We have been invited to a kids Valentine's day party on Friday. I am hoping everyone is healthy enough to attend.

We got great news today about aunt Theresa! They caught the cancer in the early stage and it hasn't spread!! She starts radiation in 2 weeks. Thank you for all that prayed for her!! I am hoping to get down to see her this weekend.

Next month we get to book our Disney vacation!! We have decided to stay at the Beach Club this year. We are beyond excited! They have a sand bottom pool there with a pirate ship slide. It's so cool. We aren't going until October. It's going to be a long wait but so worth it in the end.

So that's what is going on here. I'm ready for summer to get here. I am done with the cold and the snow.

Here are some pictures for the past few weeks:

Change of plans...

2011-01-31T07:56:00.012-05:00

This weekend Brian and I were suppose to have a date night. I was really looking forward to this. I think the last time we had a date night was last summer when one of Brian's friends got married. A little over a week ago Maggie woke up with a nasty cough. No other symptoms just a cough. I thought I would give her a couple days and it would be cleared up. That just wasn't happening. I took her to the doctors on Friday. He thought either bronchitis or pneumonia...

I had to take to the hospital for chest x-rays. She did so well!! I was so proud of her!

The doctor called that afternoon and it was bronchitis. We decided to cancel our date night... We didn't feel right leaving her when she wasn't feeling 100%. My mom told us to pick another night and she will come over.

Saturday Heather and Jen came over. We had a great visit. It was fun talking to Jen about having twins and what it was like being pregnant with twins. Brian and I ended up making one of our favorite meals, steak sandwiches, for dinner.

Here are some pictures Heather took:

Sunday we were suppose to have a family dinner with Theresa. But... Holly's kids are sick too. Bert had pneumonia in one of his lungs and Gracie has bronchitis! So my mom came over and hung out with us. I was bummed that we didn't get to see Theresa before her surgery but with all the little ones being sick we knew cancelling was the best idea.

If you are the praying kind, please say a little prayer for our dear friend Theresa. Her surgery is tomorrow. We love you aunt-T!!

Oh and guess we are getting this week??? MORE SNOW!! I am so over this!!

Here are the girls frosting cupcakes.. At one point they "washed" their hands with the frosting.

And I love this picture of Charlotte

Baby it's cold outside...

2011-01-25T08:44:00.004-05:00

My computer says it's 1 degree outside right now. And that is without wind chill. The past few days have been very cold here in the Northeast. Sunday night it got down to -13. BRRR!! I know it's January but that is very cold. So we have been in the house. It's just too cold to play outside. Needless to say we are a little stir crazy. I think the girls are getting sick of being inside. I think they are getting sick of painting, coloring and playing dollhouse. What activities do you do with your little ones when it's too cold/hot outside?

This weekend aunt Theresa and auntie Linda came up for a visit. It was great to see them. The girls were quite excited!! We hadn't seen them since Christmas.

I am looking forward to this weekend. Saturday my friends Heather and Jen (who is expecting twin girls) are coming over for a visit. Then Brian and I are having a long overdue date night! Then Sunday we are having a family dinner. Theresa is having surgery on 2/1 so we all wanted to get together. Should be a fun weekend!!

You suck cancer...

2011-01-20T18:06:00.003-05:00

I know I have mentioned Theresa on this blog before. She is one of my best friends. She is an amazing friend...

We named Maggie (Margaret Theresa) after her. She is Maggie's Godmother. She is an amazing auntie...

She is just a great person. Always there for you...

She found out yesterday that she has tonsil cancer. She is having surgery next month then radiation and chemo. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers. And cancer... YOU SUCK!!

Grief...

2011-01-20T08:05:00.002-05:00

I am obsessed with reading other people's blogs. Especially ones that talk about pregnancy/infant loss. But after reading some of these blogs, I started feeling like something was wrong with me. Because I wasn't feeling the same way these other women were feeling.

The days, weeks and months following Brian and Lillian's death were rough. I had panic attacks. If I knew we were going somewhere I would take a anti anxiety pill because it was very overwhelming for me to be around people. I remember being in Walmart once feeling like I was going to pass out. I can home took a pill and went to bed. Brian had to travel quite a bit for work and luckily I was able to quit my job, so I traveled with him. It was hard to leave the house though. I felt like my babies were here and if I left would they wouldn't know where I was. Sounds crazy but it's how I felt.

Little Brian died a few days after my mother in law did so we decided to have him buried with him. It just made sense and felt right. I was unable to go to the services. That was really hard for me. Lillian was born 2 days after the funeral. To be honest I can't remember who picked out her coffin. Brian? Brian's dad? Those days are a little blurry for me. We didn't have a service for Lillian. I have felt guilty about that for a long time.

The first time I went to the cemetery was Memorial Day. I felt like I couldn't breathe. Seeing their names on the headstone was overwhelming. It had been months since we lost them but seeing their names made it real. I wasn't dreaming. When I was doing our IVF cycle with the girls, I visited everyday. I would leave the doctors office and go right to the cemetery. I would just sit in my car (it's was February in Maine so it was cold) and talk to them. Tell them what was going on. And to please watch over us.

We tried to get pregnant on our own for a little while. After about 6 months we decided to call our RE. She reviewed our charts from the hospital and told us she felt we lost the twins because of incompetent cervix. Once she told me that I became a little angry. I felt like my doctor should of been looking at my cervix to make sure everything looked o.k. I had just been complaining to her that something didn't feel right. But she just blew me off. I knew right there and then that I would never go back to her.

In August we did another round of IVF. It didn't work. I was devastated. I knew I only had one more cycle in me. I knew I couldn't go on doing IVF. It was emotionally and physically draining. In December I started talking the birth control. In February we got our BFP.

Finding out we were pregnant with twins again was very nerve wracking. Would I lose them? Would the cerclage work? Would I carry to term? Would I be on bed rest? Would I be able to relax? I was thrilled to be pregnant. But I didn't know how to process how I was feeling. I didn't want to spend my whole pregnancy worrying about losing them. But it was hard to shake those worries. I had a pretty uneventful pregnancy. I ended up in the hospital at 34wks2d. I delivered the girls at 35wks2d.

So flash forward to now. I'm five years out from our loss. I can talk about Brian and Lillian without braking down. I can think about them without totally losing it. Don't get me wrong I still have my moments. I still have a hard time when we go to the cemetery. I will hear a song and it will bring me back. But for the most part I am o.k. I think about them everyday. I wonder what life would be like if they were here. But the grief doesn't consume me anymore. It doesn't run my life anymore. I guess I have learned to live with it.

Is it summer yet?

2011-01-18T15:09:00.003-05:00

It is snowing. And we are getting another storm on Friday. This only makes my winter time depression even worse. I feel bad cause the snow is so deep now that it's not fun to play outside. The girls can barely walk in the snow because it's so deep. Have I mentioned that I hate the winter? I really wish we could move south... Here's some pictures of the girls painting today.

And the Patiots blowing it on Sunday hasn't helped matters either. For the time being I am a Steelers fan. Which I am sure makes my friend Beth happy :) I hope the Steelers bury the Jets!!

So now I am going to go dream about summer. And the swimming pool we are going to put up. And I might dream a little about Disney too!!

Lessons learned...

2011-01-16T16:00:00.003-05:00

We have continued to use baby wipes with the girls. I find it's easier to clean the girls with wipes then with toilet paper. And we have been flushing them down the toilet...

Last night Brian went downstairs for something and there was water all over the floor. Our basement leaks so having water down there isn't' something new for us. The only thing is it didn't rain and it's been too cold for the snow to be melting. Then he looked in the washing machine and there was water in there. So we tried to drain the washer. As soon as the water starting going down the drain pipe water went everywhere! We had a blocked sewer pipe...

We took the drain pipe from the washer out of the main drain pipe (hope that makes sense to everyone) and what did I find?? A baby wipe. I know right then and there we were going to need a plumber. And I knew getting a plumber on the weekend was going to mean $$$!!

The plumber came and told us we had the record for most baby wipes clogging a pipe!! $245 later we were flowing again!!

So the lesson learned is... No more baby wipes in the toilet!!

I want them back...

2011-01-14T08:04:00.003-05:00

My SIL made me a beautiful charm bracelet for Christmas. She is so talented. And I can't even begin to tell you how much it means to me. Here is a picture of it:

Maggie loves to look at it. And she asked me what all the charms mean. So I told her she has an older brother and sister, who are in heaven, because they were too sick to stay with us. It's very hard to explain death to a 3 year old. We told her they were in heaven with Nana, Grampa, little Grampa, uncle Danny, uncle John and the many others we have lost throughout the years. So then she says to us, "I want them back". It just about breaks my heart every time she says that to me. She has no idea how much we wish they could be here with her. I can't imagine what life would be like if we had 4 kids. How crazy our lives would be. How outnumbered little Brian would be. I wonder if he would be the protective big brother? Would Lilly be the ring leader of the girls?

So now when we do night night, Maggie always says good night to her brother and sister. She tells us they are in heaven cause they were too sick. Then she says, "I want them back"...

The Big Storm!!

2011-01-13T11:45:00.003-05:00

We survived the big storm of 2011!! It started snowing about 7 a.m. and stopped around 6 p.m. I think we got about a foot. Maybe a little more. While Brian was shoveling the driveway the girls and I played in the front yard. They were so excited to be out in the snow. It was really cold though. The wind was really bad. We went outside for a few minutes this morning. It took me about a half hour to get them ready to go outside and we were out there for 15 minutes. I think Charlotte is coming down with something. She has a little cough and is super cranky today... We will probably go back out once Brian is done working!! Here are some pictures from last night. Thanks Amanda for telling me about Picnik!!

One of my favorite videos from Disney...

2011-01-12T15:46:00.004-05:00

I was watching some of the videos from Disney (I needed to go to my happy place since we are in the middle of an awful snow storm) and I thought I would share 2 of my favorites!! Both of them are from when we went to see the Osbourne Lights, at Hollywood Studios, with auntie Theresa and auntie Linda. We had so much fun! One of my favorite memories of all time. Hopefully this works...

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

*Edit* So this is actually 3 videos put together. Didn't realize that's how One True Media did it. Enjoy :)

Playing in the snow!

2011-01-10T16:55:00.005-05:00

The girls really love playing in the snow. I feel bad though cause we don't have a lot right now. It looks like we are getting a big storm on Wednesday. Fingers crossed!! I got them all bundles up and took them outside today. It was beautiful out! They had a great time! And so did I :)

Is anyone reading this?

2011-01-07T09:15:00.005-05:00

If you are reading this post, please leave a comment!! I would love to hear from you!!

So last night Maggie almost made it!! She woke up early in the night (at like 8:30) and I told her, "mommy is not in bed yet". She laid back down and went back to sleep. Around 5:15 I heard her calling out to me. She managed to wake Charlotte up too... Not a good thing. So I brought both girls in bed with me (Brian slept downstairs) and told them to go back to sleep. It took a little while but Maggie fell back to sleep. Charlotte did not... I am praying they take a nap this afternoon. Cause mommy needs to nap too!!

Dear Maggie...

2011-01-06T17:35:00.009-05:00

Dear Maggie,

I'm writing this letter to ask you if you could please sleep in your own bed? I can't remember the last time Papa and I got to sleep in our bed without you waking up and kicking Papa out of bed. I love snuggling with you but I need some sleep. Some uninterrupted sleep. So if you could work on that I would appreciate it!!

Love,

Mama

It's a good thing she is so cute...

On another note.. Gree and I took the girls to see Tangled today. It was so good. The best Disney movie (in my opinion) since Beauty and the Beast!! I would highly recommend seeing it!!

Friends...

2011-01-05T10:59:00.011-05:00

I have been emailing with a friend this morning about supporting each other in the weight loss battle and it made me think... I have amazing friends.

I'm going to start with some oldies. Some of my oldest and dearest.

Nichole:
I have known Nichole for about 25 years. She moved into my neighborhood when we were in grade school. And we just clicked. We were always together. She was my "date" for my dads wedding. We shared a LOVE for New Kids on the Block. We worked together and had tons of fun together. She has seen me through a lot in my life. We may not see each other all the time or talk everyday but I know she is always there for me. I'm lucky to have her in my life.

Graduation day 1993

Michelle:
I have known Michelle for 21 years. She was in my sophomore algebra class. We kind of "knew" each other cause we took dance lessons from the same teacher. Michelle asked me if I would be interested in doing dance with her and the rest is history. We basically became inseparable. We worked together, we slept at each other's house every weekend, we lived together, I was her maid of honor, she was my maid of honor, I was in the delivery room when her daughter was born, she was a great support when we lost the babies and has provided me with some great parenting tips since I had the girls. We have gotten into some trouble together... And have has some monster fights (I wonder if the skid marks are still on the street in OOB?). But she has been a rock in my life. My BFF. My sister. We don't see each other as much as we want too but I know she is always there for me.
Us circa 1997

2000 at Michelle's baby shower

2007 at my baby shower

2010 at the girls 3rd bday

The Hannaford crew:
I don't even know where to start with this one. In the fall/winter of 2004 I started working at the Hannaford in Falmouth. Little did I know that I would make some great friends. They are, Heather, Sarah, Amanda and Gabby. These are some of the nicest people I know. We all really hit it off while working together. And I should mention... I was their boss. While working in Falmouth I went through an IVF cycle (which they were all so supportive during that time) and became pregnant with Brian and Lillian. They were all so happy for me. After everything happened I stopped working. I just couldn't go back there and face everyone. Not just my co-workers but the customers knew I was pregnant. I couldn't believe these girls stayed in contact with me. I should also mention that I am older then them. I think Heather is the oldest of the group and she is 30 and Amanda, the youngest, is about to turn 25. They were a great source of support, comfort and friendship. It's been 5 years since I left that store and I talk to all of them on a regular basses. They are a great group of women and I am so blessed to have them in my life!!

Heather, me, Sarah and Amanda at the girls baptism

All of us (plus Barbara SaoReang)

Heather and the girls

Margo, Emily, Jessica:
Margo was my boss at the Falmouth store who became a very good friend. She was so supportive when we lost the babies. She and my mom put together my baby shower for the girls!! We were pregnant together. He son Cabot is 2 months younger then the girls and is such cutie! Emily also worked at Hannaford. We have gotten together quite a few times and I really enjoy her company! She has a great sense of humor and a lot of fun to be around. I love talking about parenting with her because I think we share a lot of the same views. She and I were also pregnant at the same time. Well briefly. Her son, Lucas, is 3 months older then the girls. Jessica is a friend from high school that I lost touch with but we found each other on FB. We were really close when we were younger. And since reconnecting on FB have gotten together a few times (she lives about 1 1/2 hours from me). I am so glad we have reconnected!!

Beth and Carrie:
I "met" these two amazing women after I lost the twins. We met through a group called LAMBs. It's an online support group for women who have lost multiples. Beth lost her girls, Abby and Morgan, a week before I lost Brian and Lillian. Her due date was a week after mine. She was an amazing support to me during a very dark time in my life. It was really great being able to talk to someone who understood what I was feeling. We met up a couple times. We were actually pregnant at the same time again!! Her daughter, Sarah, was born on 9/17 and the girls were born on 9/30 so they are only 2 weeks apart. Shortly after Sarah was born, Beth and her family moved back to PA so we haven't seen each other in 4 years :( Carrie lost triplets shortly after we lost the twins. She joined LAMBs and we became friends. She also was a great support to me. And she was also pregnant the same time I was!! Her son, Nolan, was born on 11/20 so he's just a little younger then the girls. She lives in the Chicago area so we have never met. But she also shares a love for Disney so I am hoping to meet her down there sometime!

I have also met some other wonderful women through this blog. Some who have twins, so how have also lost multiples and some who also love Disney.

I am really lucky to have some many wonderful friends. I love you all!! Thank you for always being there for me!!

xoxo

Feeling blue...

2011-01-04T09:38:00.004-05:00

I hate this time of year. The holidays are over. The tree is gone. The decorations are down. The Christmas music isn't playing anymore. Our Disney vacation is a distant memory. And it's winter. I hate the winter. I don't mind the first snow but after that it can just go away! The thought of being in the house for the next 4 months depresses me. We will go out and play every once and a while but not like we did during the summer. I am going to look into swimming lessons for the girls. We plan on putting up a pool this summer so I would like them to take lessons.

The girls have discovered some new shows that they like. Dora and Diego. They like Diego a little more then Dora. I think it's because he interacts with animals. They also love the movie Annie. They walk around singing the songs. And reenacting some of the scenes of the movie. One of them will be Miss Hannigan and the other plays an orphan. It's really cute!

I have started my New Year's diet. Fingers crossed I stay with it this time. I was looking at some recent pictures of myself and I almost fell off my chair. I have put on a lot of weight. I am really disappointed in myself. But it's a new year and a new beginning. I don't want my kids to ever be embarrassed about me. And I want to be a role model for them. Yesterday they both exercised with me. It was pretty cute.

Here are some pictures of the girls playing in the snow :)

See ya later 2010!!

2011-01-02T09:54:00.009-05:00

I have to say, I am pretty happy to say good bye to 2010. It wasn't the best of years for our families. Brian's uncle John passed away unexpectedly in April, my uncle Danny passed away unexpectedly in May and my grandfather passed away in September. My father was diagnosed with kidney cancer and luckily is cancer free now.

I can't believe how much the girls have grown! They aren't my sweet little babies anymore... Their vocabulary exploded!! It's so much fun having conversations with them. The things that come out of their mouths crack me up! They are pretty much day potty trained. Which I have to say is great! I was so sick of changing diapers... Maggie keeps telling me she wants to go to school. I am going to start researching preschools in our area. It's scary to think they are ready for school!!

I still can't believe the girls are 3!! We really enjoyed their birthday party. It was great to see our family and friends! I think the girls really enjoyed having everyone here at their house. The were running around outside showing all the kids the different spots they like to play in.

We had an amazing vacation!! The girls were so good while we drove! And they had a blast at Disney! They loved the rides, the characters, the pool and the whirlpool tun in our room. Only 293 days till we go back :)

This Christmas was one of the best I have ever had! We had a great celebration on Christmas eve with family and friends. Then had a fun day opening gifts with the girls and my mom Christmas day. The day after Christmas we got together with my brother David, my SIL Cindy and my niece Ellie. It was great getting together with them. New Year's was pretty mellow here. Me and the girls went to auntie Holly's house for a super sized play date. The girls had a great time and I enjoyed some adult conversation. That night Brian and I cooked a bunch of our favorite snack food and watched Psych all night. But we didn't make it till midnight...

Happy New Year to all my friends and family. I hope you all have an amazing 2011!

Five years ago today...

2011-01-01T09:50:00.002-05:00

I gave birth to our daughter, Lillian, too soon @ 24 weeks. She was born at 12:39 a.m. and was the New Year's baby for the state of Maine. We prayed so hard that she would make it but sadly she lost her battle 40 hours after being born. That was the worst week/time of my life. We said good bye to my MIL, son and daughter all within a week of each other. I was so angry. I couldn't understand how this could happen? We had worked so hard to get pregnant. We had done 6 IUI's with no success and then moved onto IVF. Finally we got our BFP on our 3rd attempt. I thought we were done with infertility treatments. It just didn't seem fair... I felt like all my dreams were taken away. I didn't know how I was going to survive this. Brian was my rock. He took care of me. He let me cry when I needed to. Laugh when I needed to. And let me be angry if I needed to. My friends all supported me. My family was there for me. And I met to women, Beth and Carrie, who helped me more then they will ever know! They also had lost babies (Beth lost twins and Carrie lost triplets) so they understood how I was feeling. I am beyond thankful for everyone who helped me through that dark time in my life.

Happy Birthday sweet girl. My first born daughter. You have no idea how much you are missed and loved <3

I have Lilly's bear resting on my baby bump..

It's been 5 years since...

2010-12-29T12:52:00.003-05:00

We said hello and good bye to our precious son, Brian. Some days it feels like it was yesterday... I can still remember the doctors bringing him in so I could see him before he passed away. He had a Santa hat on. It was so cute. He was so tiny. The tiniest baby I had ever seen. But also the most beautiful. I can hardly remember how things all played out. I was on some pretty heavy meds that made things hard to compute. I have always hated the fact that I wasn't with him when he passed away. But thankfully Brian and the priest who married us were with us. Mostly I hate that we had to suffer this loss. We had been trying for so long to get pregnant. IVF is not something that is easy to deal with. I can't tell you have happy and excited we were when we found out we were pregnant. We felt that God had rewarded us with twins. To have it all taken away was not fair. I am beyond thankful for the girls. They bring so much love and happiness into our lives. But we miss Brian and Lillian.

Happy birthday sweet boy. You will always be my first born. My only son. I miss you more than you will ever know. And I love you so very much!

This picture is from Christmas 2005. Right before everything happened.. It's probably hard to see my baby bump. But it's there.

Christmas

2010-12-28T09:33:00.017-05:00

We had the most amazing Christmas!! It all started on Christmas Eve. We always host Christmas Eve. We had a great time with family and friends! Auntie Holly made all the kids matching Christmas jammies. They looked so cute! She also gave Brian and I an awesome Christmas gift. She bought us Name A Star Animals. So we can name stars after Brian and Lillian. And put the animals in the girls room. Such a thoughtful gift!! She also made the girls new blankets which they love!! We all enjoyed a surprise visit from Santa too!! The kids were so excited to see him! We had such a great night. After everyone left it was time to get all the gifts under the tree. Every year I say I need to scale back... Needless to say this wasn't the year... Plus Gree bought them too much...

Christmas morning was so much fun!! I don't think the girls knew what to think when they saw the gifts. But once they "got it" we had fun. Gree spent the night so she was here to enjoy the tree too! This year we decided to stay home on Christmas day. It was the best decision. We started opening gifts around 7 and didn't finish till 3:15!! The girls wanted to play with their toys so we let them!! Auntie Pam came over in the morning and cooked us breakfast. It was so yummy! And my mom cooked us dinner. It was nice not having to cook for everyone :)

Maggie was really happy when she opened Bullseye!! And Charlotte as happy with Talking Jessie too!! They also loved their new Dollhouse. And I have to admit... I love it too! My mom bought them Woody and Jessie costumes. And she got them cowboy boots too!! Those were a huge hit!

The next day uncle Dave, aunt Cindy and cousin Ellie came over. We had so much fun! My SIL made me the most beautiful charm bracelet. I love it so much! Cousin Ellie made the girls bears from Build a Bear. One has a Cinderella dress and the other has Sleeping Beauty dress. So cute!! We ate a night dinner then everyone headed home before the big storm hit...

We had a great Christmas. There were a lot of people we missed this year... My grandfather, uncle Danny, uncle John, mom and dad Souza and mostly Brian and Lillian. I can't imagine what our lives would be like with 5 year twins too... And I can't believe it's been 5 years since we said hello and good bye to our sweet angels...

Potty Training

2010-12-23T08:06:00.002-05:00

Last week we decided to start the potty training process. I had NO idea what I was in for... A friend had recommended . I think it would work if you had an adult for each child. But my hubby has to work. And we had something going on every weekend in the month of December. I read her book and used her technique as best I could.

The first 3 days were HELL!! I have never cleaned up so much pee in my life!! I was ready to give up. Actually at one point I put diapers back on them. But there was no way I was going to let this get the best of me. So I took the diapers off, reach out to some friends for tips and tried again.

By day 4 something clicked with Charlotte. She didn't have ANY accidents!! I couldn't believe it!! Maggie was still having accidents. But day 5 came and it clicked for her. We haven't looked back!! Pooping is still an issue. Charlotte is kind of getting it. Maggie not so much.

Night time is something we haven't tackled yet either. We started out putting them in undies for bed. They were having accidents left and right. Charlotte wasn't waking up when she peed. So they are in pull ups at night. Last night Maggie woke up around 1. She has a habit of sleeping with me... But last night I went and got her and out her in my bed. She told she had to pee on the potty. And she did!! I am thinking that's what woke her up!! We may be onto something there!!

This has been by far the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I thought waking up every 3 hours to feed them was hard... That has nothing on this!!

I can't believe we are 2 days away from Christmas!! Where did this year go?? The girls are super excited that Santa is coming! I don't think they have any idea what they are in for!! I went a little overboard this year and I know my mom did too!! Oh well!! Christmas is for kids right?

I don't have any new pictures to post :( But I am sure I will have some for Christmas ;)

Merry Christmas my blog friends!!

Christmas time is here!

2010-12-15T10:40:00.010-05:00

I am really excited about Christmas. The girls seem to really "get" Santa and they know he's bringing presents. If you ask Maggie what Santa is bringing her she will tell you, "Bullseye". And if you ask Charlotte she will say, "talking Jessie". Let me tell you a story...

Maggie has been saying Santa was going to bring her Bullseye for quite some time now. I had seen him at Kmart but wanted to wait till Black Friday in case there was a deal. Well we went to Kmart on BF but NO Bullseye. So I checked Walmart. Nothing. Toys R Us. Nothing. Target. Nothing. NO ONE HAD BULLSEYE!! I started to panic a little. But I figured maybe we could get him on Amazon. Well we could of... FOR $100!! It makes me really mad that there are people out there that buy up these toys and then sell them for a lot of money! Well I went on Kmart's website to try and find him. I figured it would be worth having to drive and get him. We found one! At the store in Saugus MA. Which is right up the street from my aunt Pammy's house! And my mom just happen to be visiting Pammy!! So I called them up and they agreed to go get him for us! They had 1 left!! I am telling you... It's a Christmas miracle! I can't wait to see the look on Maggie's face when she opens him. Of coarse I had no problems finding a talking Jessie for Charlotte.

We put our tree up the Sunday after Thanksgiving. Brian found this really nice local tree farm so we packed everyone up and went out looking for the perfect tree. It was really cold that day... But the girls seemed to love it!! They had a horse there and they loved talking to him. Then Gree (my mom) came over and helped decorate it. Lots of fun.

My friend Heather came over the next weekend and took some pictures for me. She just bought a really nice camera so she agreed to take some Christmas pictures for me. They came out so good!!

This past weekend we got together with my dad and did the tree with them. Then my step siblings and their families came to my dads for a big gathering. We had a blast!! The kids had such a good time. And so did we!

Just one more post about Disney

2010-12-14T16:43:00.014-05:00

Well this will be mostly pictures. Brian and I decided for Christmas we would buy the Dinsey Photopass CD. We had a lot of pictures taken while we were there and it would of cost us a small fortune if we ordered prints through Disney. We got the disk the other day. Here are some pictures from the disk...

The girls with Snow White

The Family in front of the Castle

The girls in front of the Castle

And again...

Me, Brian, the girls, auntie Theresa and auntie Linda

All of us again at the Osbourne Lights

Maggie and Theresa

Me and Theresa

The Family at the Animal Kingdom

The girls and Belle

Charlotte and Goofy

The girls and Donald

The girls with the Princess and the Frog

The girls and Minnie

The family and Pluto

The family with the Little Einsteins

The family with Buzz and Woody

The girls with Minnie and Mickey

Me, the girls, Chip and Dale

The family with Cinderella

Another Disney post :)

2010-12-10T15:02:00.015-05:00

So are you sick of reading about our Disney trip? I am thinking this will probably be the last one. We really had an amazing vacation. I feel very lucky that we have been able to go to Disney so many times. And now we are sharing Disney with our children.

While we were there they were starting to decorate for Christmas. Disney at Christmas time is something to see. One of the displays that is a must see is the Osbourne lights at Hollywood Studios. It is amazing!! There are millions (and I mean millions) of lights set up on the backlot and the Streets of America (I think that's what it's called). They play holiday music, make it snow and serve drinks and cookies. At certain times the display dances with the music. It's so awesome!! The girls LOVED it! We saw the display 4 times while we were there!!

I love the way Maggie is looking at Brian in this picture!

The girls and auntie Theresa watching the dancing lights!

And here are some pictures of the Christmas trees. Except the Magic Kingdom's tree. For some reason that one wasn't up yet!!

EPCOT

Animal Kingdom

Hollywood Studios

Disney Part 3

2010-12-04T10:43:00.007-05:00

Day 4 we headed to EPCOT. One of the perks of staying at the Boardwalk is being able to walk to EPCOT. We enter the park between England and France in the World Showcase. It was great cause that part of the park wasn't open yet so we could let the girls walk. They loved that!! Once in Future World we went and saw Figment. Maggie seemed to like that ride but Charlotte didn't care for it. Any ride that had periods of darkness Charlotte didn't care for. She doesn't cry but she wants to be held. When you get off that ride it dumps you in this play area that they really liked. It's hard to explain what it's like. It's really fun for little ones though. Then we headed over the the Living Seas with Nemo. There is a cute Nemo ride that they seemed to like. But they enjoyed looking at the fish more then the ride. Once the World Showcase opened we headed over to Mexico to do the ride there. It's a boat ride inside the temple. It features Donald Duck and the 3 amigos. It's cute. After that we headed to Norway to ride that boat ride. Maggie had been asking us if she was going to see polar bears in Disney. We always said no cause it's too warm in Florida. Then we remembered the polar bears in the Norway ride. We were kind of excited for her to see them. We rode the ride and pointed them out to her. She didn't seem too impressed. We went about our day and asked her if she wanted to see the polar bears again. She told us they were sleeping. I think they scared her. Every time we asked her if she wanted to see the polar bears that was her response... they were sleeping! We ate lunch and then headed back to the resort. That night we ate in Germany. It's one of our favorites. It's a buffet with different kinds of German dishes. Brian loves it cause they have a lot of different sausages there. Plus he loves their beer ;)

Disney part 2

2010-12-02T09:14:00.019-05:00

Our second day in Disney we decided to go to the Animal Kingdom. We knew the girls would love it there cause they love animals. Maggie keeps talking about how she is going to be animal doctor. I have to admit I was a little nervous about the AK though... In my opinion there isn't a lot for little ones there. But they loved it there!! We rode the Safari and TriceraTop Spin. We saw the Festival of the Lion King and walked the Maharajah Jungle Trek. Oh coarse the tigers were asleep when we did the walk. But the girls loved being out of the stroller. They LOVED the Safari. I think that was one of their favorite rides. We left the park a little early and went back to the room so we could swim. We were suppose to eat in Italy that night but our reservations were a little early. So we canceled that one and made a later one in Germany. We wanted to give the girls plenty of time to play in the pool. After dinner we headed to the MK to see the Wishes fireworks. I wasn't sure how the girls would do with the fireworks. I thought for sure that Maggie wouldn't like them. That she would be scared. She LOVED them!! Charlotte wasn't too crazy about them. She kept saying they were too loud. I had never seen these fireworks before. They were really good. The Castle was amazing. They draped it with tons of lights. During the show the lights come on and light up in all
different colors. It was really cool.

Our third day we went to Hollywood Studios. We started the day with The Voyage of the Little Mermaid. Maggie loved it! Charlotte hated Ursala. She basically hid her face on my shoulders until the show was done. Then we headed over to the Playhouse Disney Live show. To say Charlotte loved this show is an understatement!! Her little face lit up every time we saw this show. It has Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Handy Manny, Little Einsteins and My Friends Tigger and Pooh. You sit on the floor and interact with the show. It's really cute. We tried to get on Toy Story Mania but the line was always too long and the Fast Passes would be gone by noontime. We also did the Great Movie Ride (Charlotte hated that too), Muppet Vision 3-D and the Beauty and the Beast show. They loved the Beauty and the Beast show! At one point Charlotte yelled out, "be nice to Belle Beast"!! Everyone around us laughed!! It was really cute:) We headed back to the hotel to swim and relax cause that night we were eating in Cinderella's Castle!! I can't tell you how excited I was to do this. The girls LOVE all the Princesses. We got ready and headed over to the Magic Kingdom. When you get there you line up and have your picture taken with Cinderella. When they girls saw her their little faces lit up!! Maggie kept asking if she could touch and talk to her. When it was our turn they were so excited! They walked right up to her and gave her a big hug!! PRICELESS!! They took our picture and then we headed up the stairs to have dinner. While we ate we saw Belle, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty and the Little Mermaid. It was such a great night!! Memories that will be with me forever!!

Our trip to Disney part 1

2010-12-01T15:03:00.009-05:00

Sorry I haven't posted in over a month. We were in Disney for 2 weeks and when we got back life just got crazy!! Brian and I are fighting a bad head cold and Maggie is getting a horrible stomach virus. But I think things are finally getting back to normal.

So here's a summary of our trip. We left Maine on Friday 11/5. We were going to drive through the night but Brian thought the girls might not be able to handle it so we left here around 10 a.m. and drove to Baltimore. The girls did really good! They were excited to get the hotel. We had bought them blow up beds to sleep in while on vacation. I blew them up and put their sheets blankets on them. But the girls decided they would rather sleep with me... So Brian camped out on the couch and me and the girls slept in the bed. Fun for me :)

The next morning we were up and on the road by 8 a.m. That day our goal was to get to Santee S.C. We did hit some traffic that morning but things went pretty smoothly that day too. The girls once again did great! Thank God for DVD players in the car! We got into Santee around 6:30. The girls were very happy to be out of the car!!

Final day, destination: DISNEY! We were up and on the road around 9. Our goal was to be in Disney around 3. We were really excited!! The girls (again) were really good! The loved going through tunnels, going under overpasses and going over bridges. It was really cute. We didn't hit any traffic that day and I think we pulled into the Boardwalk around 2:30. We got check in and got our luggage into our room. The girls keep asking where Mickey was? I think they thought the characters would be in the room when we got there!! We got settled in a little and then headed out for a walk around the resort and grab some dinner. We decided to eat at the Big River Grille which is right on the Boardwalk. The food is really good there and your don't need a reservation either. Which is nice. I couldn't believe we were there. We have been planning this trip for over a year. And the girls were so excited! We headed back to the room, the girls got a bath in the whirlpool tub and then it was time for bed.

On our first day at Disney we went to the Magic Kingdom. The girls were pretty excited when they saw Cinderella's Castle. It is quite beautiful... We headed over to the Buzz Lightyear ride (which I don't think they were impressed with) and then went to Fantasyland. We rode Dumbo (which they LOVED), the Snow White ride (which we had to make not so scary), It's a Small World (now they can sing the song, the carousel (which they also LOVED) and we saw Mickey's Phillermagic (they could of cared less about that). Then we headed over to Adventureland to ride Aladin's magic carpets (another big hit) and Pirates (which Charlotte wasn't a big fan of). After doing all of that the girls were a little tired so we headed back to the room. We went swimming. They LOVED that! The Boardwalk has a great kiddie area. A pool with an elephant and then a playground right behind the pool. They could run back and fourth between the two. That night we had reservations at O'Hana. We love that place. We kind of ate fast that night cause the girls were a little restless. So we headed back to the room to just chill.

Well I have to go feed the monkeys. I will post more I promise :)

Disney World

2010-10-29T16:19:00.005-04:00

Ever since my parents took me on my first trip to Disney, I have been completely in love with it. I can remember leaving the Magic Kingdom the last day of the vacation and crying in the back seat. When I was 20 I moved to Florida with my ex-boyfriend. I was so excited to be close to Disney. He didn't share the same love for Disney. So we only went once. Then I met Brian and I found out that he and his family loved Disney. I was thrilled. Brian and I had started talking about taking a vacation together. We talked about maybe going to a tropical island. And then one day we were at his sister Tammy's house and she was talking about their upcoming trip to Disney. I asked Brian if we could go there instead. He agreed. I think deep down he really didn't want to go to Disney. I think we wanted somewhere a little more relaxing. I was so excited. We had the best time. It was so much fun being there with someone you love.

We got home and 5 days later he asked me to marry him. The first reservation we made was at Disney for our honeymoon. It was perfect. One of the best vacations we have ever had. We were officially hooked. We are about to go on our 13th trip to Disney together. Our dream was to take our children there someday. Two years ago we were able to make that dream come true. It was so awesome celebrating the girls first birthday in Disney.

Charlotte is obsessed with the Disney planning DVD. We watch it a couple times a day. Maggie talks about all the animals and characters we are going to see at Disney all the time. I am so excited that they are excited. I know this is going to be an amazing vacation. I can't wait to spend 13 days with the 3 loves of my life in my favorite place on earth!!

Doctor's Visit

2010-10-28T12:34:00.002-04:00

I brought the girls in for the 3 year appointment today. They were so good. In the past when I have gone by myself there was so much crying and screaming going on I couldn't hear what the doctor was saying. Today they behaved themselves. Well Charlotte tried to escape a million times but besides that they were really good. So here are their stats:

Maggie= weight: 30.50 pound height: 3 feet exactly
Charlotte= weight: 29.75 pounds height 2 and 3/4 feet

The doctor was a little concerned with Charlotte's iron level. She likes to eat everything. And when I say everything I mean EVERYTHING!! He mentioned PICA. So she had to have her iron tested. Hopefully everything will be fine and she will stop eating everything she can get her hands on...

Brian and Lillian

2010-10-15T16:12:00.005-04:00

During October, we remember all babies born sleeping, or whom we have carried but never met, those we have held but could not take home, or the ones that came home but didn't stay.

In August of 2005 we got the news we had been waiting years to hear. I was pregnant. Brian and I were over the moon. At 6 weeks we found out we were expecting twins. We couldn't believe it. At 20 weeks we found out we were going to have a son and a daughter. The perfect family. We thought our infertility roller coaster was over. Sadly, at 23wks3d, our perfect dream was shattered when my water broke. They tried to stop labor but our son, Brian William III, was born on 12/29/05 at 23wks4d. Our next goal was to try and keep our daughter from being born. We got to 24wks. The contractions started coming and there was nothing we could do. Our daughter, Lillian Ruth, was born on 1/1/06 at 24wks. Our world was shattered.

We are very lucky and blessed to have Charlotte and Maggie. I thank God everyday for ALL my children. One day we will tell the girls about their big brother and sister. I know they are watching over us.

We think of you everyday sweet angels. Mommy and Papa love you so much!!

Here are some pictures of me pregnant. It's hard to see my belly but I think you will be able to tell. These were taken shortly before everything happened...

Helping a friend..

2010-10-15T10:09:00.006-04:00

I belong to a message board for women who have been struggling or struggled to get pregnant. These women helped me so much when I was going through IVF and my pregnancy. They are a special group of women. Always there for each other. Always supporting each other. There is one woman who is looking for a gestational surrogate. They thought they had found someone but it's not looking too good. I am posting a link to her blog. If you, or someone you know, would be willing to do this for them please contact them.

http://voyagetoparenthood.squarespace.com/

Our weekend!

2010-10-11T08:59:00.007-04:00

The weekend started with Brian taking a half day on Friday so we could take the girls to the Fryeburg Fair. I was so excited to take them! I had this dream about how they would just love everything about it and we would have this wonderful experience. It wasn't a bad experience but it wasn't what I thought it would be. There were tons of people there. And I realized then how people have little to no respect for others with strollers or wheel chairs. The girls liked the animals. They loved the mini horses. But we walked past a sheep getting a bath... He let out a very loud BAAHHH and Maggie was done. The food was ok but nothing special and they didn't have any good kiddie rides. Next year we will stay closer to home.

Saturday we decided to hang out at home. And my good friend Heather came over for the afternoon. The girls love playing with her!! She bought a new camera and decided to take some practice shots of the girls. About 100 practice shots :) She did an awesome job!! We had a blast just running around the yard, raking up the leaves and playing in the leave piles!! Charlotte was so cute! Brian would throw leaves up in the air and she would just laugh! A deep belly laugh. Best sound in the world. And Maggie really hammed it up for Heather. She is so good about having her picture taken.

Sunday we spent the day at auntie Pams house. She needed Brian to do some stuff around the yard for her. And she made us Nana Ruth's yummy spaghetti with pork chops. It was so good. She also made some yummy apple crisp. The girls had a great time running around her yard! So much so that they napped for 2 hours!!

We had a great weekend!! I am loving the fall weather! This is my favorite time of year. I love watching the leaves change color, the cooler weather and most importantly... going to Disney!! We basically always go this time of year. 27 days and we will be back home!! We can not wait!!

Here are some pictures that Heather took!

We are going to Disney again!!

2010-10-07T14:00:00.004-04:00

4 weeks from tomorrow we will be packing up the van to drive to Disney!! We are very excited!! The girls tell me all the time all the things/people/characters we will see in Disney! They are true Disney kids. They love the Princesses, Mickey Mouse, Toy Story and basically everything Disney. I can't wait to see their faces when they see Cinderella Castle. Or when they see Woody and Buzz. Or Belle and the Beast. It has always been my dream to take my kids to Disney World. Brian and I have gone there every year since we have been together. Except the year the girls were born. We truly love it there. And now we are sharing that love with our kids.

We are going for 2 weeks!! We have never been there for that long before. And we will be staying at the Boardwalk. We love having a timeshare there. One of the best decisions we have ever made! Here are some pictures from previous trips!

Me, Brian, my mom and the girls 2009

Brian and the girls at the Boardwalk 2008

Brian and I in EPCOT 2004

Way back Wednesday

2010-10-06T09:38:00.003-04:00

I see on a lot of blogs they do way back Wednesdays. So I thought I would do the same:) First will be a picture of Brian and I when we got married. The picture might be a little gainy. Then a picture of the girls. Happy hump day everyone!

Me and Brian 10/23/99

The girls just a day after they were born 10/07

Starting over...

2010-10-05T13:58:00.008-04:00

I know it's been a very long time since I have blogged but I think I want to get back into it!! Half of my problem is I spend a lot of time on Facebook. I am addicted to it. So lets see what I can blog about...

The girls just had their 3rd birthday! I can't believe they are 3... It doesn't seem possible! We had a party here at our house. The weather was perfect! The yard was a little muddy since we had a week of rain. But the kids had a blast running around. They were so excited to have friends here to celebrate! Maggie loved opening her presents (especially Woody). Charlotte wasn't all that into opening gifts. She just wanted to play. It was a great day. We have amazing friends and family!

I will leave you with some pictures and promise to update again soon!!

Blog help!!

2009-07-14T20:53:00.001-04:00

Ok... As you can see I have been playing around with my header and template. For all you bloggers out there, how do I get rid of the border around my header? Do I need to stretch out my header?? I am tired tonight... If you could leave a comment and let me know:)!!

Having fun at the beach??!!

2009-07-11T19:32:00.005-04:00

For those of you who read this and live in Maine you know what our summer has been like so far... For those of you that don't let me fill you in. I can sum it up in one word. RAIN!! It has rained for about a month now. At least it feels like it has. I know at one point it had rained 28 out of 32 days. Well yesterday the sun decided to grace us with it's presence. It was a beautiful day. My mom and I decided to take the girls to the beach. They had never been to the beach before. It was interesting. Charlotte LOVED it!! She loved walking in the sand. But most of all she LOVED the water. She was so funny! The waves would come up, soak her and she would just laugh! She was shivering but laughing at the same time!! Maggie on the other hand HATED it!! She wouldn't walk in the sand. She wouldn't touch the water. She flat out hated it... She sat in the stroller and just took it all in. She was happy in the stroller but as soon as I took her out to leave she freaked out! She thought I was going to make her walk in the sand. Hopefully she likes the pool. If she doesn't I don't know what I am going to do!! Here are some pictures from our day...

Long time no see huh??

2009-07-07T14:24:00.005-04:00

So it's been quite a while since I have posted here huh? It's just been a crazy couple of months... The girls are keeping me busy!! So let me think about everything that has happened since the last time I posted.

We had the girls baptised in April. It was really nice. They did so good. They didn't make a peep during the whole ceremony. Not even when the priest poured the holy water over their heads!! It was a beautiful day! Baby Grace was also baptised that day so it was a meaningful day for our family. We had a big reception after the ceremony. It was so much fun!! The kids ran around and had a blast! It was really a fun day!

Mother's Day was nice. We just spent the day at home hanging out. It's a bitter sweet day for me. I love the girls more than anything in this world but my heart aches for Brian and Lillian. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of them. But on a day that I celebrate being a mother, it's sad cause 2 of my children aren't here to celebrate with me... They made me a mother first. They will always be my first born...

June was a busy month. Auntie Bella graduated from high school and turned 18!! So we had a weekend to celebrate her!! It was so much fun!! Then it was Father's Day. We also spent that day at home. It's a hard day for Brian too... I went and saw New Kids on the Block again with Holly. We had a blast!! It was so fun to get out and just be us for the night!! We also celebrated cousin Bert's birthday that weekend! Can't believe he's 2! Then we had a sleep over at a hotel to celebrate aunt Cin's birthday. That was sooo much FUN!! It was the first time I spent the night away from home since God knows when... It was a little weird but so much fun!! I have been looking forward to summer since hummm January. And guess what? It has rained for like 3 weeks!! I am not kidding either. In the past like 32 days it was rained 21 of those days. So the poor girls have been stuck inside... But to where you ask?? FLORIDA!! We aren't 100% sure when but probably before Christmas. Brian needs to figure things out with his job. Mainly talk to his boss about it but he thinks it will be fine. We are super excited!! We are so sick of the winters here. We want to live somewhere that the girls can be outside year round. And Maine isn't that place. So I will try to keep you posted.

Now it's July. We celebrated the 4th with our annual party at Tammy's. But it was too cold and cloudy to swim. But it was still a fun day. Now we are just waiting for the sun to come out and it to be warm so we can be outside.

I'm feeling quite emotional today. I don't know if it's because I am watching Michael Jackson's memorial or what but I just want to say how happy I am. My girls and my husband make me happier than I could ever imagine. Maggie and Charlotte bring so much joy and happiness into my life. They make me laugh and drive me completely crazy all at the same time. I can't imagine my life without them. They are sweet, funny, loving, charming... But what I love most is they are mine. They are little me and a little Brian. Brian's blue eyes and my dimples... I love being a mom. There is no better job on earth!!

Busy Weekend!! Auntie Tammy's birthday & Easter!

2009-04-14T17:04:00.006-04:00

We had a pretty busy weekend! Saturday was auntie Tammy's birthday! We won't say how old;) A whole bunch of us got together at Famous Dave's BBQ (YUM) to celebrate! There was about 25 of us there... It was a lot of fun!! And the girls did great! I was a little nervous cause it's not a very big place and they were sitting next to Grandpa... I was afraid they would try to eat off of his plate. But they mostly left him alone!! After dinner we went to Tammy's for a little visit. We got there before they did so we let the girls run around on the lawn. They were so funny!! It's been such a long winter. It felt good just to be outside letting them get their energy out! We had a nice visit with Tammy and Bella. Maggie was really funny. They have this toy car that plays music. Maggie kept pressing the button so the music would play and she danced like a mad woman. All I could think about was that scene in Flashdance. The one where she dances to the song, Maniac. You know what scene I am talking about. It was funny...

Easter was really awesome. I didn't get baskets. Although now I wish I did... But I just put their stuff out in the den. We brought them downstairs and they saw the stuff. Maggie just kept saying, "What's that"? She was really cute. And Charlotte kept laughing. They played with their new toys, took a nap and then we headed to auntie Pam's for dinner. They were so good there. Auntie Holly and uncle Robbie (and the kids) got them the new Winnie the Pooh movie, auntie Tammy and the kids got them this really cool Wiggles book and auntie Pam and grandpa got them some new books. Then we came home and they played some more and then off to bed. It was a really fun Easter.

So other news... Brian is going to get me a Wii and Wii fit tonight. I am wicked excited!! I need to lose some weight. If I keep going the way I am, I won't see them graduate from high school... I am also going to see NKOTB again. They are coming back to Boston in June. We are getting really excited about Disney. It will be here before we know it!! Oh... We were suppose to go to Pittsburgh this week to visit my friend Beth but it fell threw... So we are going next month. For Mother's Day actually. I am really excited to spend that weekend with them. She understand how hard Mother's Day is... She lost her precious twins, Abby and Morgan, a week before I lost Brian and Lillian. And her little girl Sarah is 2 weeks older then the girls. So it should be a fun time!!

So that's about it here... Excited for the warm weather to get here!! Here are some pictures from the past couple of days...

Hangin Tough...

2009-03-28T16:54:00.003-04:00

Well Wednesday night was one of the best nights of my life!! When I was a teenager I was madly and completely in love with New Kids on the Block! Me and my friends, Nichole and Anne, used to spend weekends going through magazines ripping out pi cutes of them and hanging them on our walls. We would listen to their music for hours and hours. But they broke up... And I let them go. So fast forward to last year. They release a new album which I LOVE!! It really is a great CD. Nichole checks out their tour schedule and sees that they are coming to Maine... We are beyond excited!!
So Wednesday I get myself all primped up and kissed the girls good bye and headed to the concert. Well first we went to dinner. Let me just say it doesn't take much to get me a little tipsy anymore. It was really great being out with my girlfriend. We were silly and laughed all night. Then it was time to head to the Civic Center to see the concert.
The show started with the group Jabbawokee (sp?). They are a dance group. I guess they won some contest on MTV. Of coarse being out of the "what's cool" group, I had no idea who they were. They were pretty amazing. Around 8:30 the whole place got dark... I had butterflies in my stomach... I felt like I was 13 again... They came out. We screamed our heads off!! They were AWESOME!! They sounded awesome, they danced awesome but most importantly they looked AWESOME!! I have to say though, my favorite part of the whole concert was the last encore they did... They saved Hangin Tough for last. It was AMAZING!! They came out in Celtic jerseys and the place went NUTS!! It's so awesome that they are from MA!! Donnie wore a Red Sox hat for most of the night!! They did a nice mix of new and old stuff. At one point in the show they mentioned how it had been 21 years since they released their first single... That made me feel really old... It was such a great night. I really hope they tour again. If they come back I am soooo there!!
I took a ton of pictures. Here are some of my favs:)

Doodles...

2009-03-25T08:47:00.002-04:00

A year ago today my friend Kathy lost her precious babies, Noah and Talia, at 23 weeks. So if you could, please just take a moment to say a little prayer for her and her precious angels. I understand all to well how hard this day will be for her...

Big hugs to you today Kathy. You, your DH and the Doodles are in my thoughts today...

What a difference a year makes!

2009-03-11T16:13:00.006-04:00

Wow 2 posts in 1 day!!

So we took the girls to have their pictures taken a couple weeks ago. They came out really good. I was so pleased! So here's a comparison. Enjoy! And yes there are copyright marks in the middle of the pictures...

Maggie 6 months old

Maggie just about 18 months old

Charlotte 6 months

Charlotte just about 18 months

I am a bad blogger...

2009-03-11T14:56:00.005-04:00

I am so sorry that I haven't updated in a while... I have no excuses. Well maybe some;) I will say that life with 2 18 month olds keeps me busy! So let me think about what's been going on here...
The girls are getting so big! Maggie is talking more and more! It amazes me everyday to hear what she is picking up. Charlotte is getting better. But she doesn't say as much as Maggie. They get into EVERYTHING! Nothing is safe. Sometimes I wish I has a padded room that I could put them in! It's been a long winter... I know they are anxious to be outside! Maggie has a ton of teeth! I love when she smiles cause you can really see them. And Charlotte is starting to catch up! We are finally moving them into the 2nd bedroom. It's time for me to reclaim our bedroom! This way too we can play in their room. And maybe move some of their toys upstairs. We are finally having them baptized too! On April 26th. It's going to be a triple baptism. Baby Grace and the girls. Should be fun! A couple weeks ago I decided to buy them some "big" girl shoes. They are so cute! I love watching them walk around in them. It's definitely getting more fun! They make me laugh everyday!
What's new with me? Nothing... I am trying to lose weight before we go to Disney. I made a bet with Theresa so I better start doing something! We are planning a trip to visit my friend Beth in Pittsburgh. I am really excited about that! I am really ready for the warm weather to be here. I hate this time of year. It always brings me down... We have put the house hunting on hold for a while. We found a couple places we were interested in but nothing panned out... We are going to do some work on this house. My life is kinda boring!
I hope everyone is surviving the winter ok... I promise to post more often. Here are some pictures of the girls:)

We are all booked!!

2009-02-11T10:38:00.004-05:00

I booked out Disney trip yesterday! We are going in September again. We usually like going in October but our passes are only good through Sept 22nd. We are really excited. We are staying at the Boardwalk again but this time we are getting a 2 bedroom suite. So my mom can have her own space. We are so spoiled. I really can't wait. It's been a really crappy winter here in Maine... I am really hoping my friend Beth and her family will be going at the same time. We have talked about it so we'll see!

So the house hunting has been really frustrating. We were going to put a bid on a house but the real estate agent didn't tell us everything about the house. We didn't know if the heating system worked or if there were any broken pipes! And the house was on a slab... So we didn't do it. Very disappointing... We are still looking but we aren't having much luck...

I am trying to think of what's new with the girls... Not much. Maggie is cutting another tooth. This will be #11 for her. Charlotte still has only 6... Maggie is obsessed with piggy toes. It's so cute to hear her say it too! They are really starting to understand what I am saying to them. I know that might sound strange. But I will say to them, "let's go upstairs" and they go to the stairs. When I ask them if they are hungry they go to their chairs. It's really fun to see them learn new things.

As promised here are some new pictures of them... Enjoy:)

My thoughts about the Octuplets

2009-02-06T12:25:00.002-05:00

So I have been stewing about this story since it happened. I still can't believe a doctor would be so irresponsible. And I can't believe the mother who could jeopardize her health (knowing she had 6 kids already) and the health of her babies would be so irresponsible. I have never heard of a doctor transferring 6 embryos. Even with advanced maternal age I have never heard of that. When we were going through our treatments the most they would transfer was 2. End of story. The only way they would do 3 was if I was over the age of 35. Which I wasn't... This woman is my age. Can you imagine? She's in her mid 30's and has 14 kids! And is a single parent! I would never want to deny anyone the chance to be a mother. I understand that longing. But these doctors didn't look at the big picture. Supposedly she wanted a big family cause she was an only child. Well isn't 6 kids big enough? And what if she would of gone into pre-term labor? What if there was a complication with the delivery and she died? This stuff happens everyday. Does she even think about her other children? Selfish... I pray that she gets nothing. I know that sounds awful but I can't help it. This was her decision. When she decided to transfer that many embryos... But you know someone will pay her for her story. I did watch her interview on the Today show this morning. She not firing on all cylinders... Nothing she said made sense. She lives with her parents, isn't working and now has 14 kids. She said she plans on going back to college in the fall. I wonder how she will do that? I only have 2 and I can't imagine doing that! Plus who will pay for it? Who will watch the kids? Oh her family, friends and church. She is counting on a lot of people to take care of these kids she CHOSE to have. She CHOSE this by transferring 6. She CHOSE this by doing another IVF cycle when she already had 6 kids at home. Why should anyone else have to pick up the slack for what she CHOSE??

I try to keep this blog mostly about the babies. But this is one story that really upsets me. Now I am afraid to tell people (who don't know) that we did IVF. Cause I am sure in the back of their minds they will think of the women. She is not the face of IVF. She hasn't even said why she had to do IVF in the first place. They said something about a spinal injury she got while working... That makes no sense to me. If you have a spinal injury then wouldn't carrying 8 babies only make it worse? And who is paying the hospital bills? Probably us... Our tax money...

Ok I am going to let it go... Hopefully I haven't offended anyone by what I said but it's how I feel... I will put some new pictures up in the next couple of days.

We are still around!

2009-01-28T12:51:00.007-05:00

Sorry it's been so long since the last time I posted. It's been really crazy around here. The girls were sick for about 3 weeks. Before we went to NJ they had colds, then they got the stomach bug and then Charlotte had a head cold. It was a long couple of weeks. But we are all better now. Now we are just trying to stay warm. It's been really cold here for the last week. And I am looking out the window at the snow falling...

So let me think about what the girls have been up to... We went to the Dr's last week and here are the stats: Charlotte: 20lbs8oz (20%) she is 32 inches (90%) Maggie: 19lbs10oz (10%) she is 30 1/2 inches (50%) Charlotte only gained about a pound since October but Maggie... She's gained like 3!! Little piggy:) I love it though... She has this little belly. You ask her were her belly is and she lifts her shirt and rubs it. It's really cute. She is really talking about a storm. Of coarse we know what she is saying... You may not. She says mama, papa, baby, tigger, piggy toes, minnie mouse, tweet tweet, ho ho ho, meow, moo, baa and a bunch of other stuff. It's really cute. Charlotte isn't as talkative... She says mama, papa, woof, what's that?, and a few other words. Maggie is better at trying to repeat what you say. Charlotte not so much. They are really fun to watch. Just watching them play makes me laugh. They love to feed themselves. They really don't like me to feed them. So feeding time tends to be really messy.

We have been looking for a new house. We spent the past weekend looking at houses. We had put a bid in on another house but it fell through... The places we looked at this weekend were pretty bad... Most of them needed way too much work. But we are looking at one tomorrow that looks really awesome. It's in the country but we would have 3 acres of land. That would be so great for the girls. We could put up a pool and get them a nice swing set.. So cross your fingers for us:) Well I hope everyone is surviving the winter. I know I am ready for summer. We were suppose to go to Disney in May but we aren't now. We would rather have the money to buy new furniture... We are still going in September though... Here are some pictures. It's getting harder to get them to sit still for me to take pictures. Usually when they see the camera they run!!

I am in sickness hell!!

2009-01-15T10:33:00.002-05:00

So for those of you who don't know I decided to travel with Brian this week while he's in NJ. We got here Sunday and everything was fine. Got up Monday and played and did our normal stuff. Around 6 that night Charlotte threw up. And it was pretty bad. I thought it was food poisoning... We gave them their milk and put them to bed. About 15 mins later she was screaming. She got sick again. We knew at this point it was probably something else. There is a really bad stomach bug going around right now. She threw up a couple more times and finally settled down and got some sleep. Around midnight it started with Maggie. It was really awful. Tuesday night they went to bed really early... They were so tired. Brian and I decided to go to bed a little early ourselves since we had been up for nearly 24 hours. About 15 mins after going to bed I knew I was going to be sick. So yup I had this too... It's been awful. I feel bad for Brian. Cause he is working... And I feel bad for the maid that has had to clean our room. It smells like a frat house in here! They haven't eaten in 2 days. They just aren't interested in eating. So please pray that we are getting over this... I am very anxious to get home. We go to the Dr's on Monday. Although I am sure they have lost some weight over that past couple of days...

Christmas 2008

2009-01-05T10:59:00.011-05:00

Sorry for posting this so late. I have a few reasons for that. #1 I haven't been on the computer that much lately. With the holidays and Brian being on vacation I just didn't have time. #2 I wanted to do the post for Brian and Lillian and have it be about them for a couple of days. Although I know I said something about the girls in one of the posts... #3 I was reading the book Twilight and couldn't put it down. It was really good! I am hoping to go out and the next book today. I have to admit it felt good not being in front of the computer. I spend way too much time on this thing. It is my connection to the outside world but I feel like the girls are suffering cause I am here too much, my house is suffering, and I think it's hurting me too... So don't be surprised if I only post once or twice a week. I think I just need a break... But onto Christmas!!

We had so much fun! We had our usual Christmas Eve gathering here. Which was so nice. It was great seeing everyone! And we had a special guest... SANTA!! Charlotte did ok with him but Maggie didn't want anything to do with him... And neither did Bert!! They were all so cute! Everyone left here by 9:30. Then I had to wrap. I will never do that again!! The girls went right to sleep. I think they were wiped out from running around with Bert. They woke up the next morning around 6:30. You all know they love the Wiggles. Well we bought them these stuffed animal thingys of Capt Feathersword, Wags the Dog, Dorothy the Dinosaur and Henry the Octopus. I didn't wrap them. I just set them out in front of the tree. They went crazy!! They walked over to them and just laughed! It was so cute! They got sooo much! It looks like Toys R Us exploded in my house! Biggest hits from Christmas: The Wiggles dolls, the twin baby dolls my mother bought them, these little Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck wind up cars and the million Little People we bought them. I haven't opened the ball pit I bought them cause it needs to be blown up and I don't have a pump yet... And thanks to auntie Theresa the girls got their first American Girl dolls. She bought them each a bity baby. They are so cute. But the girls can't play with them yet... It really was a fun Christmas. They were excited with all the new stuff they got. Makes me really excited for next Christmas.

New Year's was pretty boring... I was asleep by 9:30. I am such a old fart... Oh well. Then the girls were sick. Then Brian was sick. Fun for the whole family right?

So here are some pictures from Christmas. Happy New Year to all my loyal readers!!

Test

2009-01-02T20:26:00.000-05:00

2008 in Pictures

2009-01-02T10:21:00.014-05:00

I have seen a lot of my fellow bloggers doing this so I thought I would do it too! It's a neat idea. I promise to post about Christmas too!! Maybe tomorrow... So enjoy this look back at 2008!!

Happy Angelversary Lillian....

2009-01-01T08:51:00.002-05:00

Three years ago today my daughter, Lillian Ruth, was born @ 12:39 a.m. She weighed 1lbs2oz. She was also the New Year's baby in Maine for 2006. We missed the New Year's baby for the country by minutes... She was so tiny. So fragile. They brought her to the NICU. I was 24 weeks along. Way too early. She was doing ok for awhile. 24 hours later she was still with us. But things took a bad turn for her. Her lungs were just too weak. The Dr's came to my room and told us we should go to the NICU. They had her wrapped in a beautiful quilt. Brian held her for a few minutes and then he gave her to me. She was so beautiful. She looked a lot like me. I held her as she passed away. She was with us for 40 hours.

My sweet little girl,

Not a day goes by that we don't think of you. You have no idea how much your little life means to us... I know you and your brother are looking down smiling on your sisters. I know you sent them to us. We love you and miss you so very much!

Love,
Mommy, Papa, Charlotte and Maggie

ps... on another note the girls are both sick. Fun fun!! I will post some pictures from Christmas in the next couple days. Happy New Year everyone!

Happy Angelversary Brian...

2008-12-29T08:24:00.009-05:00

Three years ago today my son, Brian William, was born. My water broke at 23wks3d. Way too early... They tried so hard to stop me from going into labor. But at 8:15 a.m. on December 29, 2005 Brian was born. He weighed 1lbs7oz. They didn't think he would survive the birth. He proved them wrong. He came out crying and peeing all over the place. We knew he was really sick. He lived for 14 hours...

My dear little boy,

We can't believe it's been 3 years since you left us... There isn't a day that goes by that we don't think of you. I know you are up in heaven with your sister looking out for Charlotte and Maggie. And I know you guys sent them to us. You will never know how important your short life is to us. We love you so much!!

Love,
Mommy, Papa, Charlotte and Maggie

I also want to remember my friend Beth daughters, Abby and Morgan who's angelversary was December 24th. Thinking of you Beth and your beautiful angels. Big ((HUGS)) to you and Michael...

3 years ago today...

2008-12-26T18:07:00.002-05:00

My MIL passed away. I have been thinking about her so much lately. She would of enjoyed Christmas so much this year. Watching all the grandchildren running around. I hope she know just how much she was loved. She was the best MIL any person could have. She always made me feel so special. I miss her so much. Everytime I look at Maggie I can see Sandy in her eyes... We love you Sandy and miss you so very much...

Merry Christmas everyone!!

2008-12-22T09:15:00.002-05:00

So I know Christmas is in 3 days but I have soooo much to do that I probably won't be on the computer that much. I haven't wrapped one gift, my house is a mess and the laundry is piling up!! But I wanted to take this opportunity to say Merry Christmas to all of you. I hope you have a wonderful holiday. I want to thank you all for your support over the past year. It means the world to me!! I will try and post some pictures from Christmas morning this weekend!

Two posts in one day and Happy Birthday to....

2008-12-17T15:26:00.003-05:00

ME!! Yup it's my birthday today. I am 34... I feel really old. When I was younger I never could imagine being in my 30's. And here I sit at 34. I like to think that I am like wine. I get better as I age;) Not doing much today. It's snowing. We probably got about 6 inches. I am having one of my favorite meals tonight... Taco salad. I am still in my jammies but it's that kind of day. It's cold and snowy... But enough about me...

So what's new with the girls... Maggie loves her Christmas tree. She walks around saying "tree" all day. She loves her baba (which is baby). She loves animals. Especially cows and birds. She doesn't like to take naps. She usually cries when I put her down. She is also cutting her one year molars. Charlotte babbles a lot. She says ball, mama and uppa (Papa). She loves playing with balls. We got them a ball pit for Christmas. She will be in heaven. She finally has her 4 top teeth. They took forever to come in. She loves her Wiggles. She loves to dance. They really crack me up!! Here are some pictures too!!

Photo tag

2008-12-17T15:19:00.003-05:00

I saw this on some blogs that I read and I thought it was fun!! I will have 2 pictures thought cause I have 2 cameras...

1) Choose the 4th folder where you store your pictures on your computer

2) Select the 4th picture in the folder

3) Explain the picture

4) Tag 4 people to do the same

NO CHEATING! (cropping, editing, etc!)

The first picture is Maggie after trying a Popsicle. The second one the girls were about 5 months old and I was just taking some pictures of them!

Hope this works....

2008-12-09T15:27:00.004-05:00

Check this out!

I really hope this works...It does!! I hope you like it... Makes me laugh everytime I watch it... Also check out this one. She gave me the idea to do this!! So thank you Meghan (I hope that's how you spell your name) for this funny idea:)

New header...

2008-12-03T15:29:00.007-05:00

So do you like my new header?? Katie made it for me. But she made me 2 others. I was hoping maybe you (my loyal readers) could help me choose which one I should use. Here are your choices..

Plus the one that I am already using... So let me know what you think!! Oh and here are some pictures of the girls...

Thanksgiving, our Christmas tree and taking pictures for the Christmas card!

2008-12-01T10:26:00.006-05:00

We had a really great Thanksgiving! We went to Tammy's for dinner. Everything was so yummy!! The girls ate all kinds of good food! We really had a good time.

This weekend we put up our Christmas tree! When we first brought it in Maggie freaked out! She was crying and yelling... But once she saw the lights she was very interested. Brian put the lights on and then we decorated it once the girls went to bed. It's really nice. It's the perfect size. Now I just need to keep them away from it. Yeah right...

I took pictures today in hopes of getting some good shots for the Christmas card. It is very hard to get 2 one year olds to look at me, smile and sit still. I will share some of the shots I did get. But I won't tell you what the card looks like! I am really excited about them though. I have found a new website that I love. Shutterfly!! It's really cool and very easy to use. I have figure out (thanks to auntie Bella) that I can take black and white and that unique looking pictures with my camera. I have been having fun with that!!

Oh and I went shopping on black Friday!! Let me just say the girls are getting too many toys. I just can't help myself... I went with my mom and we had so much fun. So many years I dreamt of what it would be like to have kids to buy for. And after we lost Brian and Lillian I wasn't sure if that would ever happen... I think that's half my problem. I think I overcompensate for my loss. I don't ever want Charlotte and Maggie to want for anything. I know that probably sounds really bad but I can't help it. I will never be able to buy a toy for Brian and Lillian... So I will just have to buy them for the girls... Doesn't make sense I know but that's just the way it is... I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving!!

Snack time with Bert...

2008-11-24T20:10:00.005-05:00

Yesterday the girls and I went to visit Auntie Holly, Bert and baby Grace. We had such a good time! He is so cute!! And I love how well the 3 of them play together. So at one point Bert got a hold of some snacks I brought with us. He decided to share with the girls... Here's some video of that...

Aren't they cute? I love how Bert would take them back and one of the girls would grab them from him... It's so much fun going to visit someone who has little ones. I don't have to pack any toys with me. I know they won't mind diapers in their trash. And they are used to having toys all over the floor. It's pretty amazing how much of a mess 3 one year olds can make!! Here are some pictures from yesterday...

I am really looking forward to Thanksgiving this year! Should be lots of fun! Then I am going to brave the crowds and go shopping Friday morning!! I can't wait!

Do you like the new look?

2008-11-21T08:53:00.002-05:00

I know it's not even Thanksgiving yet but I saw this background and I love it!! So do you like it? I wish I was creative enough to make a fancy header.... But I have a hard time with scrapblog. Maybe I will try this afternoon. I don't have any new pictures... I am a bad mommy I know... Michelle's mom came last weekend and took a ton of pix of the girls for me. As soon as I get those I will post them.

Also I want to wish a Happy Birthday to my friend Carrie's little boy Nolan. His birthday was yesterday... So this really should be a happy belated birthday... Actually now that I think of it there are a couple other people to say happy birthday to! My nephew David turned 21 on the 3rd, Michelle's b-day was the 6th (I won't say how old you are though) and my friend Beth's b-day was the 10th. So happy birthday to all of you!!

Chocolate pudding...

2008-11-14T16:31:00.005-05:00

The girls love pudding. So tonight I gave them chocolate pudding with their dinner. Here's some video of Charlotte. I am not the worlds best camera person so bare with me... I will include some pictures too!! No video :( There was an error with blogger... I will try again tomorrow. So for now enjoy some pictures!!

I was tagged!!

2008-11-14T10:52:00.005-05:00

I have never been tagged before!! Lets see if I can do this right...

Rules:
1. Link to the person who tagged you. - Justakidatheart
2. Share 7 random and/or weird facts about you. - see below
3. Tag 7 random people at the end, and include links to their blogs.
Pink-CJ, Annie, Beth, Sara, Amanda, Katie, Holly
4. Let each person know they’ve been tagged by leaving a comment on their blogs.

Now the facts... I am sure some of you will know some of this stuff...

1) I took dance lessons. Tap and ballet. I loved tap dancing. I started when I was 3 almost 4 and danced till I was in the 8th grade. I was dancing in the recital and forgot the steps... Ran off stage crying... It was really bad. Then was I was 15 my BFF Michelle asked me if I would be interested in doing a semi-private dance with her. We had so much fun!! I stopped dancing when I was 18.
2) I am named after 3 of my aunts. My name:Deborah Pamelyn. My aunts: Debbie, Pammy and Lynn.
3) I don't think this is any big secret but I LOVE Disney World!! Everything about it. I can't wait to go back. I always cry when we get there and when we leave. It truly is the happiest place on earth.
4) I only gained 8 pounds while I was pregnant. Don't know how I managed that one. Then managed to lose 33 after having them only to gain it back. Oh well...
5) Don't mean to be a downer but I am not sure how many of you know that my angel baby Lillian was actually the New Year's baby for the state of Maine in '06. She missed being the first born in the country by like 20 mins...
6) My first "real" kiss was when I was 12. I my friend Mel's bathroom. His name was Derrick Martin. I wonder where he is now??
7) I am obsessed with the number 3. It's not as bad as it used to be but I am always taking numbers I see (license plate numbers, phone numbers, birthdays..) and dividing it by 3. I have a bit of OCD!!

Baby Grace and new video...

2008-11-05T16:03:00.005-05:00

I finally got up to the hospital to see Holly and baby Grace. She is so beautiful. Seeing her face just made my day. And Holly is doing really well. Now that I figured out the whole video thing and I addicted. These girls crack me up so bad. You will see one video of Maggie dancing to the Wiggles. The other one (you will hear me laughing) is just of them cruising around. I think I forgot to mention that Maggie is walking now. She's so cute. She is so proud of herself. So here are some pix of baby Grace and some video of the monkeys!! Enjoy:)

Peek A Boo!

2008-11-03T16:11:00.003-05:00

I was sitting at the dining room table and Maggie was playing under it. I looked down and this is what she was doing...

I know I am biased but man she is sooo cute!!

Baby Grace is on her way!!

2008-11-02T10:55:00.004-05:00

My niece Holly is in the hospital about to have her baby!! So please keep them both in your prayers!! I will update as soon as I know all the info!! We are sooo excited!

*UPDATE!! Grace Olivia Louise Fogg was born at 11:13am. She weighed 7lbs3oz. Not sure how long. Baby and mom are doing great!! Hopefully I will get into the hospital to take some pictures!! Congrats Holly and Robbie! We love you guys soo much!

It worked!!

2008-10-31T12:49:00.003-04:00

I have been trying for months to post a video and now it works!! WOO HOO!! Now that I know it works I plan on posting more! This one is just of the girls having some juice the other day...

Chef Boyardee!

2008-10-31T12:40:00.004-04:00

The girls seem to really love anything Chef Boyardee!! Today we tried the lasagna. They loved it! They are so cute! They crack me up! So here are some pictures of them after they finished. Needless to say they will be having a bath when they wake up from their nap...

Aunt Cin's Halloween Party

2008-10-27T09:43:00.007-04:00

This past Saturday was Aunt Cin's annual Halloween party. We had so much fun!! I kinda wish now I would of bought costumes for the girls... But I don't plan on taking them out to trick or treat... Anyways... The girls took really good naps that day so they were in good moods! And we stayed until 9!! That is the latest they have ever been up! It's pretty amazing how much babies change... At last years party they weren't even a month old yet... Now they are walking, crawling, talking, eating real food... It just blows my mind! The food was great. The costumes were great. The company was great... I did get some pictures. I need to get better at this. It seems every time we go somewhere I forget to take pictures!!

Pictures from the party...

2008-10-24T10:46:00.005-04:00

So Denise took over 100 pictures!! Crazy right?? I can't thank her enough though... It was so crazy here there was no way I could of taken pictures that day!! So I went through and grab some of my favs! Of coarse I forgot to have her take one of all of us... Oh well!!

Oh and one more thing... I want to say congrats to Kathy over at busted babymaker. She just found out she is pregnant!! I am so happy for her. She lost her twins, Noah and Talia, in March. She was the same gestation I was when I lost Brian and Lillian. So here's to healthy and happy nine months!!

Maggie and Grammy

I love the way Charlotte is looking at Brian

Me, Michelle and Nichole... My oldest and dearest friends:)

Princess cake for my little pricess'

Nine years ago today...

2008-10-23T10:54:00.004-04:00

Brian and I were married!! And 11 years ago had our first date!! It doesn't seem possible that 11 years have gone by... We have been through so much since then. And here we are!! Older, wiser, rounder;) Last year on our anniversary we were bringing 2 one month olds to the Dr. I can remember it like it was yesterday! Nine years ago I married my best friend. He makes me happier than I ever thought I could be... So Happy Anniversary honey!! I love you more than you know! Thank you for my beautiful babies!! With both our good looks we made some cuties didn't we? I wanted to share some photos from our wedding but my photographer didn't have a digital camera... And I don't know how to use our scanner. So I just took some pix!! I am such a dork. And I can't post pictures without including some of the kiddos right??

Happy Birthday Papa!!

2008-10-22T17:50:00.003-04:00

Today is Brian's birthday!! He's a young 36 years old... So happy birthday from your baby girls and your loving & beautiful wife;) Thank you for being my rock. Thank you for being a good Papa to our babies. Thank you for always listening when I need to vent. Thank you for taking us on an amazing vacation this year! Thank you for loving me even when I have spit up on me, baby drool on me. When I am not wearing make up or even if I haven't showered!! You are the best:)

Love,
Debbie, Charlotte and Maggie:)

Blog List

2008-10-20T16:44:00.003-04:00

For all of you that would go to other blogs from mine, I have a new feature. It's called a blog list. Every time someone updates their blog it will show up on my blog list. All the blogs that I visit are there. I think this new feature is really cool!! Enjoy:)

THANK YOU ALL SOOO MUCH!!

2008-10-20T09:56:00.003-04:00

I just want to THANK everyone who came to celebrate the girls first birthday!! There were so many people here that there wasn't any space anywhere in my house... I think Charlotte and Maggie had a great time!! I'm a bad mom though... I didn't take any pictures... But my friend Michelle's mom, Denise, took tons of pix!! As soon as I get them I will post some! I still can't believe my babies are one... Where did this year go? I swear the older you get the faster the time goes!!

Update

2008-10-17T17:23:00.005-04:00

Well the girls went to the Drs today. We haven't been since they were a little over 6 months old... So here are the stats:
Charlotte: weight: 19lbs9oz height: 27 1/2 inches
Maggie: weight: 15lbs13oz height: 27 inches

Maggie is my little peanut. I can't believe Charlotte is 4 pounds heavier then her! The Dr wasn't concerned though... He said as long as she tripled her birth weight (which she has) he wasn't worried. It's just going to be tricky cause Maggie is wearing 9 month clothes and Charlotte is in 12 month! The days of them sharing clothes might be over... We are going to start them on milk too... And he said I really need to start getting them using sippy cups... I just haven't found ones they like! So moms reading this, please recommend your sippy cups! Charlotte is walking up a storm! I am hoping Maggie will watch her and want to be like her sister! I bought her a baby stroller for her birthday so she can push her stuffed animals around in it. We will see how that goes...

We are having their birthday party tomorrow. Little late but better late then never right? Can't wait to see what they think of cake. We had a cake for them in Disney but they weren't all that interested... They love to rip paper so opening gifts should be fun!! And on that note I should get off the computer and clean my house! My head is still in Disney... I need to get back to reality!!

Maggie on her birthday in Disney

Charlotte on her birthday in Disney

Their Mickey cake!!

Slide show... Florida Pictures:)

2008-10-15T18:40:00.001-04:00

National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remebrance Day

2008-10-15T13:45:00.002-04:00

Thanks to Beth and Busted Babymaker for reminding me of this... Thinking of all our precious angels today...

October 15th is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day in the United States. More than 25,000 children are stillborn in the United States every year leaving mothers, entire families and communities devastated. Estimates of the rate of occurrence of stillbirth make it at least as common as autism.
Stillbirth is not an intractable problem. Greater research would likely significantly reduce its incidence, but good research requires good data. H.R. 5979: Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act is under consideration by Congress. This proposed bill would standardize stillbirth investigation and diagnosis, thus providing more data for the needed research. Better research means fewer children born still.
On October 15th, remember the thousands of unfinished children lost and the families who remain to grieve them. Honor them by taking action. Let's help pass H.R. 5979.Action
Steps:
Step 1. Use Your Blog to Enlist Others-Copy the contents of this entire post and publish it on your blog immediately.
GOAL: Enlist 10 of your readers to spread the word
Step 2. Use Your E-mail to Enlist Others-E-mail 5 bloggers and ask them (nicely and in an unspammy way) to publish these action steps on their blog. Consider contacting celebrity bloggers, political bloggers, medical bloggers, or bloggers who are not part of your reading community.
GOAL: Enlist 3 bloggers outside of your normal blog sphere to spread the word in other online communities.
Step 3. Help Pass the Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act-By October 15th, publish a post on your blog supporting H.R. 5979 Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act. For maximum impact, title your post: "Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act."
GOAL: 1,000,000 Google results on October 15th when that term is searched for. Currently, Google only returns 20,400 pages - most of which have nothing to do with the bill.
"An Ugly Pair of Shoes"
I am wearing a pair of shoes.They are ugly shoes.
Uncomfortable Shoes.
I hate my shoes.
Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.
Yet, I continue to wear them.I get funny looks wearing these shoes.
They are looks of sympathy.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never talk about my shoes.
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize that I am not the other one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in the world.
Some women are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much.
Some have work the shoes so long that days will go bybefore they think of how much they hurt.
No woman deserves to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of the shoes I am a stronger women.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.
Author Unknown

We are really home now...

2008-10-15T13:02:00.003-04:00

So after a pit stop in NJ we are home. Brian had to work down at the Ridge for a week so me, mom and the girls just hung out down there. We had a good time but were ready to come home. We really had an amazing vacation! We can't stop talking about Disney. As a matter of fact I called yesterday and booked our next vacation! We are going the first week of May. My grandmother, aunt, uncle and my cousin and his family are all going. So it should be a fun time!! But for now it's back to reality. We are having the girls birthday party this weekend. Then Sunday we are heading to Saco for a gathering at my grandmothers. My aunt Lynn is coming home from Utah so we are all getting together. Then next weekend is aunt Cin's Halloween party! Can't wait for that! Then we wait for Grace to arrive, then Thanksgiving, then Christmas! The time goes by really fast! Not looking forward to winter though... Oh well! We go to the Dr's on Friday so I will have the girls year old stats then. But until then, here are some pix for you to enjoy!!

Leaving tomorrow...

2008-10-01T21:35:00.002-04:00

There is only one word to sum up how I am feeling right now... Sad. I always hate leaving this place. Brian and I took our first vacation as a couple here, our honeymoon here, a much needed vacation after losing Brian and Lillian here and now bringing our baby girls here. This place holds a lot of wonderful memories for us. We both have been thinking a lot about Sandy today. It's her birthday today. And one of our favorite trips was when we all came in 04. It's the year the Red Sox came back to beat the Yankees... It was such a great trip! We miss her so much. But I swear I can see her in Maggie's eyes...

So we leave tomorrow morning, drive to Lumberton NC, then onto Baltimore, then we are stopping in NJ. Brian has to work down there for the week so me, the girls and mom are going to spend the week with him. So if you need to get a hold of us call my cell phone or email us!!

We have had a wonderful vacation. The girls have done amazingly well. They love to people watch, ride the rides, swim, take tubbys in the whirlpool tub, eat all kinds of different foods, watch the ducks, be pushed around in the stroller... They have had so many wonderful experiences on this trip. Too bad they won't really remember it huh?? Here are some more pix from the trip!

Happy Birthday Charlotte and Maggie!!

2008-09-30T14:04:00.003-04:00

I can't believe my girls are 1!! It doesn't seem possible that a whole year has gone by... We are having an amazing time here in Disney and the thought of leaving is making me very sad. But we are coming back in May and then in September! So I don't have to wait too long to come back. The girls have had so many fun experiences here! Charlotte has really started walking. She still crawls a lot but she will just stand up and start walking. And I swear they are talking 100% more then they were! It's sooo cute:) They really love the rides. Today they did the Haunted Mansion. Well Maggie slept through it but Charlotte saw it! It's really cool since they redid it! They have tried so many different foods! Maggie likes Mexican food! And Charlotte likes leek soup! They have made us laugh the whole time we have been here...

The past year has been filled with a lot of joy... It's been the hardest but most rewarding thing I have ever done in my life! They make me so happy! Their little faces light up the room! I am so thankful that they are in my life!! So here are some pictures from the trip. Oh and some younger pix too!!

Hello from Disney!!

2008-09-27T18:53:00.003-04:00

I have been meaning to do this for a couple days now but by the end of the night I am so tired I can barely keep my eyes open!! The girls did so good on the drive down here! Thank god my mom got us a portable DVD player for the car... The Wiggles DVD's have been a god send!! They had their first Cracker Barrel meal!! They have done so well in the restaurants!! We are having so much fun! They really seem to like Disney and the rides! Charlotte kicks her feet and Maggie smiles every time we ride a ride!! The resort is so nice! It's really cool being so close to Hollywood Studios and Epcot... The food and wine festival started yesterday so we have tried some yummy treats! We ate in Germany, Mexico and China!! Tomorrow night it's the Hoop Dee Doo!! Can't wait to see what they think of that! Well I think the girls are ready for their last bottle and bed... All the walking and sunshine does them in by the end of the day!! Hope everyone is doing well!! We miss everyone!!

We leave tomorrow!!

2008-09-18T15:12:00.002-04:00

I can't believe our trip is finally here!! We leave tomorrow morning! We are hoping to be out the door by 7:30... We are stopping in Baltimore for the night, then onto Santee SC, then to Disney!! We should be there early Sunday afternoon. You should see all the clothes I have for the girls... It's really sick! We have sooo much stuff to pack in our van. Yup you read that right: OUR VAN!! We finally bought a minivan. It's a Kia Sedona. I LOVE it!! I am very thankful that Brian's dad let us use his car but I am 33... I shouldn't be driving a Lincoln already:) So we are packing up the van tonight and head out tomorrow!! I plan on updating while we are there... We are bringing the laptop... So wish us luck:)

Oh and I wanted to wish my friend Beth's little girl Sarah a Happy belated Birthday! She turned 1 yesterday!! So Happy Birthday Sarah! I hope you have a great party on Saturday! Wish we all could be there to help you celebrate!!

Busy weekend..

2008-09-02T19:37:00.004-04:00

We had a great Labor Day weekend!! I was nice having Papa around for 3 days:) And the weather here was perfect! Nice "end" to the summer. Although this week is going to wicked nice! I feel bad that the kids are back in school... So here's a little recap of events...

Saturday was kind of low key. One exciting thing... We bought the girls their new car seats!! We are going to put them front facing for the big trip! They will be just shy of their 1st birthday so I think it will be ok. It just blows my mind that they are growing out of their infant seats... We had to stuff them in the seats with cloth diapers the day we brought them home! Now they are going into their big girl seats!

Sunday we went to my cousins house to celebrate my aunt Debbie's 60th birthday. We had a blast! And the girls were sooo good! They love being outside. It was really awesome seeing everyone!

And finally Sunday we went to Pam's house for a BBQ. Auntie Tammy, Bella, Uncle Dave, Robbie and cousin Bert all were there! Oh and grandpa too! We brought the kiddie pool with us so the kids could splash around! It was really fun!

Well that's about it. Nothing too exciting! We are just getting ready for our trip. I swear it's all I can think about:) It's hard to believe that the girls will be 1 at the end of the month. I didn't think we were going to survive the first year. But here we are... They make us laugh everyday. Their little personalities are really starting to shine through. They are so sweet and funny! Here are some gems from the past couple days!! Enjoy:)

So, have you given up on me??

2008-08-23T08:17:00.005-04:00

I am sooo bad... Everyday I think to myself, "I am going to post on my blog"... And before I know it I am asleep on the couch!! Not to mention that for 2 weeks we were all fighting a cold.. Summertime colds stink! So let me think about what's going on...

We have started giving the girls more solid foods. They have tried mashed potatoes, toast, watermelon, cheese doodles, bagels and today we are going to try grilled cheese! It will really great if they are eating more "big people" food for when we are in Disney!! Which is in 4 weeks:) So now I really want to get them using sippy cups. I have tried a few times but they aren't interested...

Charlotte took 3 steps the other day!! She was so proud of herself!! I am trying to get them clapping but they get so excited doing it they usually just slap their legs. No new teeth for Charlotte but Maggie has 6 now! I LOVE it when she smiles and I see her teeth. Too cute... Charlotte says Mama, baba, and lala. It's so cute. Maggie just babbles. I swear she loves to hear herself yell... She loves to stand in her crib and look out the window. I think she will love being front facing in the car. Which we will be able to do for the trip to Disney!!

So I have mentioned it already but we are totally excited for Disney!! It's all I can think about... It's all my mom and I talk about!! We leave 4 weeks from yesterday. Should be interesting driving 24 hours with 2 one year olds... But we have a plan. Then we are there for 11 days!! And staying at the Boardwalk!! I don't think we have ever been this excited!! Well maybe for our honeymoon. But Brian and I have always wanted to stay at the Boardwalk... I just hope the girls like it. That they don't freak out!!

It's been kind of a crappy summer... The weather hasn't been all that great. Although today is going to be beautiful!! The month of July was a wash out. That's one of the downsides of living in NE. The summers are never long enough and sometimes the weather isn't that great. Maybe it's time for a move??

Well I can't think of much more too say... Life is just busy and crazy... Life with 2 11 month olds is busy. They are always moving and getting into things... Here are some pictures from the past few weeks. I am going to try and post more... But we'll see. I am sure once they start walking I will even busier!!

Hello there!!

2008-08-05T20:15:00.003-04:00

Sorry it's been sooo long since I have posted!! The girls are keeping so busy! I never have time on the computer anymore... It seems like my day never ends... So let me think about everything that has happened since I last posted... The girls are EVERYWHERE!! They crawl all over the place! And they pull themselves up on anything and everything!! They walk along the couch, coffee table and their activity tables. I think any day now Charlotte will walk. She lets go for a few seconds every once in a while. We were suppose to go to the Dr's a couple weeks ago for their 9 month check up... But there was a tornado watch in our county so I decided to cancel the appt. Luckily all we got was some pretty heavy rain... So I am not sure how they weigh right now. If I had to guess I would say Charlotte is about 20 pounds and Maggie is about 17-18. I gotta tell you... We have a new nickname for Maggie... Poopenstein!! She poops A LOT!! They both say mama but it's mostly when they are upset or crying of coarse. They LOVE to go swimming!! They have been in auntie Tammy, aunt Debbie and Paula's pool and they loved it!! Which is good cause I am sure we will do a lot of swimming in Florida!! We leave for Disney 6 weeks from Friday!! I can't wait!! I can't believe the girls will be 1 next month... It doesn't seem possible!
Thank you to all who left a comment with my last post:) I feel bad that I haven't been able to get over to your blogs and leave comments... I promise to be better about it!! I hope everyone is well and is having a great summer:)

To Comment or Not to Comment??

2008-07-10T19:50:00.003-04:00

I like my new feature on my blog telling me where ppl are visiting from. And I don't know how many of you actually scroll all the way down, but I actually have a ticker telling me how many hits I have gotten... With all the ppl visiting my blog,I wonder where the comments are?? I guess for me I love seeing comments... It makes me smile!! I have some faithful fans out there (You know who you are..) but if you see a picture that is cute please tell me:) If you need some inspiration here are some pictures from the past few days...

Happy 4th of July??

2008-07-07T12:13:00.004-04:00

So I realize I am way late posting this but it's been a crazy couple of days... We went to visit Nichole and her girls, Gabi and Emily on Thursday. We had so much fun!! Did I talk any pictures though? Of coarse not... They have a really nice pool so I just dipped the girls feet in it. Maggie LOVED it, Charlotte cried... Oh well... Then Friday we just hung out at home with Brian (Papa). Saturday was a big day though... Our annual 4th of July party!! We had a blast! All the usual suspects were there. There was sooo much good food too!! Thanks Aunt Cin for making your salsa... It's like a drug for me:) The girls were really good!! They loved being outside. We went and played on the front lawn cause it was a little hot in the house... Maggie was very curious about the grass. Charlotte hated it! As you will see in one of the pictures I took... And the funniest thing... We were the last to leave!! It was really nice just getting together with everyone! And it was a nice day too!! Yesterday we were suppose to look at a house in Biddeford... The realtor never showed up!! So that was a big mess... Then the girls decided to wake up at about midnight last night and stay up till 2ish... I was ready to jump out the window. I think they were hot... So we got an AC for their room. Hopefully that will help. So now today I am dragging you know what!! This week we aren't doing much... Brian is going to a Rush concert Friday night so Grammy is coming to spend the night and then Saturday we are going to visit Paula and go to the beach. Should be fun!! They have a nice indoor pool so we are going to go swimming. But I am going to take the girls on the beach this time so they can feel the sand on their feet!! So that's it for us. We go to the Dr's in a couple of weeks. I am anxious to see how much they weigh...

Charlotte hates the grass...

Maggie checking out the grass...

Uncle Paul and Charlotte

Cousin Bert

Auntie Bella and Auntie Holly

Set me free!!

2008-06-30T18:13:00.011-04:00

So now that the girls are very mobile I thought I would pick up what they call a Superyard. Brian called it baby jail... We put it up yesterday and tested it out. It's a no go. They hated it. Charlotte crawled up to it, stood up and screamed at me. So back to Babies R Us it's going... I guess I am just going to have to chase them around. For months I couldn't wait for them to crawl. Boy was I stupid... Also they are 9 months old today!! Can you believe it? I didn't take my normal monthly picture though... I will sometime this week. Let's see what's going on with them... Charlotte is cutting her first tooth, Maggie has 3 that are pretty much all the way through and one more coming... Charlotte can pull herself up in her crib. Of coarse she can't figure out how to get down... Maggie hasn't figure that trick out yet... But she loves to pull herself up if you hold her hands. But Maggie is a little scrapper... They fight over toys now. And 9 time out of 10 Maggie wins... They are growing up so fast. Sometimes I wish I could go back to when they were newborns... Minus the eating every 3 hours and no sleep of coarse... It just goes by too fast... Here are some pictures from the past couple of days...